


Newton's high school story

by emma_and_orlando



Series: Newton's story line [1]
Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Smut, Thominewt, minewt, minewtmas, newtmas - Freeform, thominho - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 19:28:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 29
Words: 25,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3459098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emma_and_orlando/pseuds/emma_and_orlando
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the crazy story about the high school life of a bot called Newton. He makes new friends and also more then friends. </p><p>He falls in love and has tests, a caring lonely mother and his father abdomen from them.</p><p>Newton's highs school story.</p><p>(Thominewt, Newtmas)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

(Newt POV)

 

I'm sweating nervously as my mom drives me to school that morning. It is a cool, clear day, and I can tell it's going to be all blue-skies and fluffy-clouds later. Great day to be locked indoors with a bunch of smelly, rowdy teenagers I don't trust...

"Newton?" My mom asks, breaking the silence. "You okay, baby?"

I shrug, secretly hating the fact that she still refers to me as 'baby', though I'm too nice to tell her that, of course. "I'm okay," I respond without conviction.

She squeezes my hand. I try to take a deep breath. It's going to be fine.

Shuck, no it's not. I've been home-schooled my entire sixteen years of life so far, and I loved not having to go out and be social, or talk to real teachers, or have homework, or any of that crap. Then my dad left, and my mom was forced to get a full-time job. My mom didn't want me to find out what happened, but I realized he'd been cheating on her. I couldn't think of a horrible enough word to call him at the time. I still can't. My mom is the nicest, kindest person I know...how he could hurt her, I've no idea.

We're stopped in front of the high school now. I'm nearly hyperventilating with fear. Oh, please, just let me get hit by a car and die before I make it to the school. I know it's going to be horrible. I tremble as I slide my bag onto one shoulder and nonchalantly kiss my mom goodbye.

Be strong for her, I remind myself. I know she's taking this hard enough already. "I love you, mom," I say, getting out of the car.

"I love you too, Newton," she whispers, tears brimming in her eyes; eyes that beg me to forgive her for this abominable act of torture.

"It's okay, Mom," I say to reassure her. "I'll be fine, I promise." God, could this be any harder?

She nods, wiping at her eyes. "I'll see you later."

"Later, Mom." Then she's gone. I take a trembling breath and glance around.

Maybe it's just a nightmare. Oh, no, some part of my mind whispers bleakly. But it's about to feel like one. A giant, inescapable, indescribable hell of a nightmare. Are you ready for this?

I sigh. Let's go.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god. Our little Newty is at school. First day and everything. 
> 
> Btw, everything is writin from Newt's POV unless it says different

I try to ignore the stares and whispers as I make my way up the steps and into the school. They're just kids, I think to myself repeatedly. Just idiotic, shuck-faced teenagers who don't matter. I can only hope they'll leave me alone...but my hopes are dashed as I step into the crowded hall, searching for my locker, and a big brute steps in front of me, cutting me off.

"Hey, new kid," he sniffs, and I notice a couple of his buddies gathering around him.

"Hey, dufus," I respond, which I know is the wrong thing to say, but I can't help it. I hate guys like him.

"Ooh, that hurt," he says in a mocking tone; his sidekicks back him up with sarcastic laughter.

I snort and push past him. His leg sweeps out, knocking me brutally to the floor. I cringe as my chin makes contact with the hard ground.

"Aww, did little baby trip and fall down?" His gang snickers.

I'm just about to get up and start throwing punches, which would probably be about as effective as a wasp stinging an elephant, when a different kid appears and steps in front of the bully.

"Slim it, Gally," he snaps, thrusting a menacing finger at the taller guy's chest. The new kid is shorter than Gally, and slimmer, but well-built nonetheless, with an untidy mop of brown hair on his head. His bangs are long, falling over his eyes in a seductive way. I try not to stare as he reaches a hand down to help me up. His eyes - which are the most gorgeous shade of blue, by the way - express his irritation at the older kid, and his concern for me. I feel flattered.

"Thanks," I mutter, straightening my shirt. Gally snorts and walks away. "How come he listened to you?" I ask, picking up the bag I dropped and shoving papers back into it.

The guy shrugs. "He...um...respects me, I guess. We never did get into a fistfight, and I'm sure he'd win if we did, but he has other reasons not to pick on me." He pauses as I continue to arrange the stuff I dropped. "So, what's your story?"

"Um." I sling the bag over my shoulder. "I used to be home schooled. Mom sent me here when she coulnd't teach me anymore...so, yeah. First day."

He squints at me, as though analyzing a specimen under a telescope. I squirm uncomfortably under his piercing gaze. Darn, he's too attractive, which makes the whole situation one hundred times worse. I clear my throat. "So. Thanks for saving me, um...?"

"Thomas." His face clears; he smiles, and I feel like melting, though I try to hide that particular emotion as I take his hand and shake it.

"I'm Newton."

"Newton?" He tries out the name. I feel a surge of pleasure to hear him say it aloud, but I smother the feeling. Stop it, I tell myself. You shuck idiot.

"Yeah." I try out a nervous laugh. "I know, my mom's...weird." Now, why'd I say that? I love my mom, and I never make fun of her to anyone. But for some reason I find myself really wanting this guy to like me, to find me "cool" enough to hang around him, and it just slips out.

He grins again. "Well, it's not that bad, but I think I'll shorten it and call you Newt, if that's okay? Sounds cooler anyways." He winks.

Did he just seriously wink at me? Flustered, I reply, "Yeah, that's fine. Whatever."

He laughs, putting a hand on my shoulder to urge me forward. My head is swimming by this point; it's lucky I'm able to function at all, given the circumstances. "So, what's your first class?"

"Um." I check my schedule. Quit saying um! I tell myself irritably. "History. You?"

His face falls. "Math. Well...I'll catch you at lunch, okay? Or do you want me to walk you to class?" The beautiful smile reappears on his face, making my stomach flutter.

"Yeah, sure!" I say, a bit too enthusiastically, and I find that I'm smiling in spite of myself.

"Cool. Let's go then." It isn't a long walk, which I regret, and furthermore, I can't think of anything to say the whole way.

"You don't talk much, do you?" he comments as we stop in front of the door to my class.

I smile shyly. "Not really. I'm not used to being social."

He shakes his head. "Well, we'll have to fix that, won't we?" I can only nod, mesmerized by the way his lips move when he speaks.

I clear my throat. "I'd better...go." I hate to say it.

He nods. "Yeah. See you at lunch?"

"Definitely!" I smile again nervously.

Unexpectedly, he leans in and lowers his voice, as though telling a secret. "You're cute when you smile." And then he whisks around and is gone, whistling as he strolls back down the hall. I stand there, one hundred percent dumbstruck. The shock hasn't even begun to wear off when the bell rings two minutes later, announcing the start of class. I hurry in and plop down in the nearest seat I find. He called me cute.

The class is a blur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did ya liked it?


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newton in the cafeteria... How is this going to end?

I can't wait to get to the cafeteria at lunchtime, because I know Thomas will be there waiting for me; the thought makes me simultaneously anxious and cheery. Thomas, with his gorgeous sky-blue eyes; Thomas, who saved me from the bullies, who pulled me up with his strong arms, which I long to feel enfolding me...

Newton! I snap at myself, utterly horrified. You. Just. Met. Him.

Yet somehow he's the only thing in my thoughts today. And hey, he was flirting with me, right? C'mon, I mean, I'm not always the brightest shank around, but it's pretty difficult to misinterpret his meaning earlier...

He thinks I'm cute. It leaves me stunned, nervous, but mostly, thrilled. My heart feels close to bursting from excitement as I scan the crowded room for him. Maybe he's not here yet...

No. There.

I spot him, leaning casually against a table, chatting with a few of his friends, apparently. I feel a lurch of fear. Surely, he can't have forgotten me already? Well, he is the popular kid - maybe he goes about flirting with every new guy he meets. Heck, maybe he's not even gay, he's just playing mind games with me. I suppress a snort. That would be so fitting. And I've fallen for the act head over heels.

I slam my tray down at an empty table and begin to devour my food. Just when I've taken a particularly large mouthful - of course, perfect timing - Thomas appear in front of me, greeting me with a sassy smile.

"Hey, Newt," he says cheerfully.

I respond with a glum, "Hey, Tommy." As soon as it's out of my mouth, I silently curse myself; where'd that come from? I stutter, trying to correct myself. "I mean, Thomas - I'm sorry, man, it just slipped out -"

He laughs, cutting me off. "Newt. Slow down. It's fine; I like it, actually. No one calls me that." He smiles. "It's just between us."

I find myself blushing furiously, so I use my food as a distraction.

"Are those your friends?" I ask him, indicating the kids he'd been talking with earlier.

His brow furrows. "You could say that, yeah."

I find a comforting surge of relief at his reluctant response, and then immediately feel guilty over it.

"So. How goes the first day?" he asks, leaning forward and switching topics. I don't mind, not one bit. Especially because he's leaning in closer now, and I can see the gleam of mischief in his eyes. I'm momentarily dazzled, unable to grasp any sense of reality.

"Uh, yeah, not too bad, I guess," I respond when I can remember how to speak properly again. "How's your day?"

He frowns, as though he wasn't expecting the question and has to think about it. Then he smiles again, and says softly, "Better, now that you've come along, actually."

I realize vaguely that I've stopped eating, and I've begun leaning forwards toward Thomas. His eyes hold me mesmerized, and the rest of the world falls away. My breath hitches. This is not happening, is it? Then his lips find mine, and I let out a gasp of amazement, brought back to reality with a surge of embarrassment. I just kissed a boy I don't even know, in public, and I don't even know if he likes me yet...

"Newt," he whispers, as I pull away. "Want to...um...come over to my house, after school?" For the first time, he's awkward; I can't help it, I find it irresistibly endearing.

Quickly, before I lose my nerve, I close the gap between us again to give him a gentle peck on the cheek. His mouth quirks into that adorable smirk. "Yes," I tell him.

What on earth am I getting into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand? What ya say


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newton's first day was better than any of mine

Needless to say, I'm eager for school to end; and not just because, well, it's school - you'd be crazy to love it - but, because I'm going to see Thomas. I'm. Going. To. His. House. I repeat the words over and over in my head, but they still make little sense. Thomas, the popular kid; Thomas, the handsome, seductive beauty - my friend? Maybe more than a friend? After all, we had kissed...

I feel a smile light up my face remembering it; he'd been sweet, and tentative, and I really wished we could've been someplace less public at the time. But luckily, I don't think anyone saw us. If they did, they've kept quiet about it...for now, at least. They probably won't tattle, though, because from what I've gathered, nobody picks on Thomas.

A surge of relief fills me at the thought. They're not going to humiliate us. I can relax and just...see how things turn out...?

A shy blush creeps up into my cheeks, and I continue walking down the hall, head bent, hoping no one notices. I haven't seen Gally and his gang since this morning, and I really hope they've decided to leave me alone. Nevertheless, I decide to watch for them.

I told Thomas I'd meet him on the front steps outside, and when I emerge into the warm sunlight, he's already there, just as I knew he'd be, except...well, truthfully, he's far more stunning than I ever could have pictured him to be, with my fragile imagination.

He strides towards me, his school bag slung over his shoulder casually, and takes my hand without hesitation. "Come on."

I allow him to lead me down the steps and away from the school, breathing a sigh of relief when the sounds of the other kids begin to fade behind us. "Well, I guess that wasn't too bad...for a first day," I say, to break the silence.

He grins. "Of course not, Newtie." I cringe at the nickname he's already given me; as if Newt wasn't bad enough...

I shove him playfully with my shoulder. "Know-it-all." We continue on a few more steps in silence, and then I find myself speaking words that I never would have dared to allow pass my lips, had I given them any rational thought whatsoever: "Thomas? Do you...like me?"

The silence suddenly hangs between us, heavy as a ton of lead. I feel my heart sink. Stupid, stupid question...now I've blown it...

His response takes me completely by surprise. Instead of shying away, as I'd expected, he turns to face me, pulling me to a stop as well. Cupping my face in his big, but gentle, hands, he slowly kisses me. I worry that my knees won't support me, so I grasp at him for support, knotting my hands in the fabric of his shirt and pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. He's only too willing to comply; in fact, as soon as I urge him on, he drops his bag - it falls to the sidewalk with a loud plunk - and advances upon me, pushing me slowly back until I'm pinned against a huge oak tree.

Then the kissing begins in earnest. It becomes immediately clear that he must have previous experience making out, but I don't let that bother me; in fact, I try not to think of anything, just respond. It's not hard. His lips explore mine hungrily, and his hands are wrapped around my waist, sending confused ripples of pleasure and fear through me. This is all happening way too fast, but again, the thought merely has time to register before it's washed away amid a flurry of heated emotions.

I feel a smile break across my face, and open my eyes to find that he's staring at me with a mingling of amusement and passion. The fever raging through me hasn't calmed quite yet, either.

We stand there panting for a few moments, and when I have enough breath to speak again, I say the only thing that comes to mind: "Well. I guess I'll take that as a yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it?


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is getting H.O.T

I'm positively giddy as we head back toward Thomas's house, both of us recovered from our earlier...um...detour. We're holding hands again, his fingers linked through mine with a quiet, calm confidence.

Confidence radiates from Thomas, or so it seems. I've never known someone could be so comfortable with themselves without becoming arrogant. Yet that's my Thomas...my Tommy.

"My dad will probably be home, but he won't care what we do," says Thomas conversationally, as we approach the house. It isn't a long walk, which is probably a good thing, because just being in his presence this long is making me feel weak in the knees. I begin to worry that I've gone wacko. Oh, who cares? This is the best kind of crazy one can be, and I'm fully happy with it.

"Right," I say in response, my mind kicking into overdrive as I imagine the possibilities that statement might encompass. I blush at the thought and reprimand myself, surprised and terrified by the scenarios rushing through my head.

Thomas senses my nervousness. He tugs my hand, giving me a warm smile.

"Come on. I don't bite." He winks. "At least, not in a threatening way..."

And then he leaves me standing on the porch to ponder whatever the hell that was supposed to mean, and given no option but to follow him. I half-sigh, half-laugh, and quickly step inside.

The house is spacious, and nicer than mine, obviously; yet still fairly modest. I spot Thomas in the living room, bent over to speak with the man sitting there, who I assume must be his father. I stand back, nervous and fidgety, until Thomas straightens up and makes eye contact with me. He eyes promise that the world will be alright, and I try to relax as I wait for him to finish speaking with his father. Finally, he comes over and drags me towards the kitchen, and I stumble after him.

Once there, he begins rummaging through the cupboards, seemingly aimless, puling out random snacks and shoving them back in with a grumble. Finally, he looks back at me. He seems flustered, agitated, though about what I don't know. Unless...it's me. But I doubt that. "What kind of snacks do you like?" he asks, dumping some options on the counter. "Are you hungry? We could eat dinner first..."

"I'm fine," I reply quickly.

He frowns. "Well, help me with this, then." At last, he gives a small chuckle, then begins sorting through the pile of chips, crackers, and candy bars. I rush to help him, surprised by my own eagerness to stand beside him again.

"We'll have to watch a movie upstairs," he tells me, as I sift through the selections.

I simply nod, biting my lip, lost in thought. Thomas once again notices. "Hey," he says. "You okay?" An adorable look of concerned puzzlement crosses his face. "We don't...have to, watch a movie, you know, we could find something else..."

I cut off his mumbling with a soft kiss. He breathes a sigh against my lips, then stiffens. I pull back immediately, worried I've done something wrong.

He shakes his head, flashing a grin just for me. "I don't want him to hear us," he explains in a low voice, nodding in the direction of the living room. I blush and avert my gaze, thinking what a catastrophe that would have been. I hadn't meant anything by the kiss, really; it was just a tactic to shut him up, it wasn't supposed to lead anywhere...even if I might have wanted it to...

Hurriedly, I help gather the food and follow him up the stairs. This, I think, might be interesting...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love y'all


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy and Newton in Thomas' room.... ;)

Thomas's room is rather large, and well organized, which surprises me, though I don't know why it should. I guess I'm just expecting that stereotypical teenage-mess-of-a-room kind of look, but it's clean and tidy, the queen size bed neatly made.

I'd been in a hurry to get here, and now I'm too nervous to move; much to my own horror, I freeze in the doorway as he continues on in, walking over to a shelf full of movies. He glances back at me, notices my hesitation, and gives me a warm, gentle look that makes my heart melt and my stomach flutter uncontrollably. "It's okay, Newt -- I told you, I don't bite." He laughs softly. I want to move, I really do, but some invisible force has locked my limbs in place, and I'm frozen where I stand.

He sighs, shaking his head, and returns to me, taking the food I forgot I'd been holding and placing it on his desk. Then he returns to me, taking my hands and tipping my chin up so I'm gazing directly into those irresistible pools of blue. He hesitates, then leans down and kisses me tentatively, awaiting my response. I feel a rush of gratitude, and I press myself closer to him, feeling his warm breaths on my skin with every exhalation.

It's a quiet, sweet, slow moment, and I don't really have any desire for it to end. However, soon he pulls away, leading me forward so I'm not standing in the doorway anymore. He closes the door and then returns to the movie shelf. "Gonna help me, here?" he asks playfully, tossing a handful of DVDs onto the bed.

I walk over to view his selections. They range from - much to my shock - 'The Titanic' to 'The Terminator'. I grimace and laugh as I shuffle through the choices.

"What's so funny?"

I hadn't heard him come up beside me, and I jump a little to hear his deep voice in my ear suddenly.

"Um. Nothing. Just...your taste in movies, is all." I smile nervously, hoping that didn't offend him. "What do you want to watch?"

"Hmm." He leans in over my shoulder to inspect the DVDs; I swallow hard, my mouth suddenly going dry. I can feel his body heat radiating through his shirt, and the smell of his cologne is making me dizzy. What is wrong with you? I think through my daze of over-reactive hormones.

Without warning, his arm darts around me to snatch a movie; I don't have time to see which one it is. He goes over to the TV, which is actually quite expensive-looking, and puts it in. I glance outside the window. It's sunny and cloudless, and for a moment, I have the stupid notion that maybe we should have stayed outside... Then I shake the thought away, glancing at Thomas, who perches on the edge of the bed, fidgeting with the remotes and attempting to get the volume right. I chuckle and sit down next to him, snatching the remote from his grasp, while he makes a sound of protest. I turn up the volume a few notches, then slide back against the pillows, my eyes firmly on the screen.

Thomas scoots back next to me, propping himself up on one elbow so that his eyes can dart easily between the screen and my face. To gauge my reactions? I've no idea. However, I feel heat burn in my cheeks every time he looks at me, and when I finally can't handle the torment anymore, I turn to meet his gaze.

Immediately, I know I shouldn't have. His eyes smolder with an untold desire, one I can feel tugging at me too, but I've been able to resist it up to this point.

"Hey, Newt?" he says, rather awkwardly, letting his gaze drop.

"Yeah?" I barely breathe the word, not wanting to break the feeling of the moment.

He meets my eyes again, taking a deep breath. "I really like you," he confesses.

A bubble of happiness expands inside me, and I want to reach out and pull him into an embrace, but I wait, in case he has more to say. He's silent, so finally, I manage to whisper, "I like you too. I didn't even know that I was...."

"Gay?" He laughs, surprising me. "Yeah. I found out a few months back, and...well...let's just say it surprised a few people." He cringes.

"Were they okay with it?" I ask quietly.

He meets my gaze, all traces of humor gone from his face. "It doesn't matter," he mutters.

"Okay." I let it drop, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. Then, haltingly, I close the gap between us, and lovingly press my lips against his, in hopes of dragging him away from whatever unpleasant memories are bugging him. His response is a lingering kiss, sweeter than I could have ever imagined possible. I feel my heart rate accelerate. It's quiet, comfortable, we're alone finally, and I can see this getting out of hand very easily...

I pause to get my breath back, and stare at his adorable, honest face, which hides none of his obvious lust. However, there's an undercurrent of something haunted, something pained. Before I can decipher what it means, he begins trailing kisses down my throat. I feel that fear rising in me again, but I battle against it. I can tell Thomas is hiding something; a broken, repressed piece of his soul, a secret he's had to bury to avoid conflict in his life. I don't want him to have to hide anymore. I want him to be accepted, and loved, and I just wish I could stay with him until the day such a thing occurs. But I know that isn't possible. So I decide right there, right then, to mend this broken soul; to give him back the joy he may have lost somewhere along the rough road of growing up; and to promise him a better life...a life that I could be a part of.

With my heart in my throat, I watch him get up swiftly to lock the door, returning to sit cross-legged in front of me. I run my fingers through his hair, sweeping it out of his eyes, which never waver from my face. I feel a small smile tug at the corners of my mouth. "Thomas," I say. "You're absolutely perfect to me, and you don't have to hide anything, okay?" He looks touched, and I know that nobody's ever said those words to him before, which makes me ache for him and all his secret burdens.

His eyes clear, and then suddenly, as though lifted from his daze, he leans forward, enveloping me in his strong arms, forcing me onto my back, and crawling on top of me. I gasp for breath as he slips his tongue inside my mouth, momentarily shocking me. His legs wrap around mine, and he releases his grip around my thin frame to slip his hands beneath my shirt. I take a deep breath to steady my raging emotions and draw him into a deeper kiss, my own hands now fumbling with the hem of his shirt. With one smooth motion, he pulls it off, and I can't help but stare, awed, at the sheer beauty of him.

I don't deserve you, my thoughts scream, but for once, I don't listen. My low self-esteem isn't going to ruin this moment - this precious, glorious moment which I may never see again.

Then, to my dismay, he shuts down. His lips stop their frenzied searching, and his whole body goes rigid as he pulls away from me. "Thomas -- "

"Shh," he says, breathing heavily. "It's okay. I'm just...not ready...I'm sorry." Pain crumples his beautiful features, as though he expects me to reject him, and I realize that he's been through that before. I pull him into a tight hug, rubbing his back soothingly.

"It's okay, Tommy," I reassure him. "I'm not going to hurt you, and I'm certainly not going to force you into anything you aren't comfortable with." Truthfully, I'm shocked that he's the one who stopped first, because I expected it to be me.

He nods, his face buried in my shoulder, and we stay like that for a long time. I find that I never want to let him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeeeeey. Aaaaand what ya think?


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter, but a amazing one ;)

The only thing I can think about later that night is Thomas; his voice, his kisses, and especially, his story. Who is he, really? I know there's a whole raging sea of emotions beneath his appearingly calm surface. He's been hurt, and he's lonely, but afraid to trust again. Could I teach him that trust?

I sigh and try to focus again on my homework, but clearly it's impossible; my thoughts keep drifting back to him. How is it that I've only known him for a day, yet I find myself irrevocably infatuated? I feel a rush of embarrassment just thinking about what happened back at his house...what might have happened. Then I push the emotion aside. Why should I be ashamed? And besides, thinking about being there reminds me of his look of pain; his hurt, his withdrawal from me, as though he expected me to deliberately harm his feelings.

Who could have done something so cruel to him? And why has it left such a huge scar on his life?

I realize I can't answer any of these questions. I'm going to have to talk to him about it...and he may not want me to know the answers. Not right away, at least. I smile a little, imagining seeing him tomorrow morning. If public school consists even partially of Thomas, then I'm just fine going there every day for the rest of my life. Well. For the rest of my teenage years, anyhow.

Giving up on the homework, I slam the book shut, then wince, hoping it didn't wake my mom up. I glance at the clock: 11:13. I should've been in bed half an hour ago...oh well.

I slide under the blankets, switching off the lamp that sits on the table beside my bed. Then, with a sudden flutter of excitement, I lay there in the darkness and allow myself, finally, to concentrate on nothing but Thomas. Just picturing his face, I notice a warm feeling creep up inside of me, filling my entire body and leaving me adrift in a thoughtless realm of happiness. I close my eyes, tiredness taking over, and wrap my arms around myself, imagining that they are Thomas's arms instead...

Then I fall asleep and dream of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sevennnnn


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eight is my fav number. So enjoy ;) 
> 
> I'm a dork omg

When I wake up, I'm suddenly scared to go to school. What if Thomas regrets what happened, what if he's embarrassed and just wants to forget it all? I don't think I could bear it if he avoided me and treated me as though he doesn't know me; or worse, doesn't like me. I try to ignore my growing fears by consuming large amounts of breakfast -- eggs and toast -- but, of course, it doesn't help. In fact, as I head out the door at last, I am feeling quite ill, enough that my mom notices.

"You feeling okay, Newton, honey?" she asks as we get in the car and begin pulling away from the house.

I swallow. "Yeah."

Her brow wrinkles slightly, her petite, soft features showing concern for me. "Okay. But if you want to talk about anything..."

"I'm just confused, Mom, is all," I tell her honestly. The weariness is betrayed in my voice, but she doesn't press me, just nods and continues driving.

"Be careful!" she calls as we arrive and I get out, eager to find Thomas despite my anxiety.

"I will, Mom," I reply, then add almost as an afterthought, "I love you!"

She breaks into a smile, which makes me feel guilty for not telling her everything. "I love you too, kiddo. Now get to class before you're late!" She swats at me playfully, and I jump backwards out of her reach, grinning. Then I slam the door and hurry towards school.

I've made it halfway up the front steps when I realize he's there. I stop in my tracks, suddenly transformed into a geeky teenage statue, frozen and staring at Thomas. He looks happy, which surprises me, and gives me butterflies in my stomach. I feel myself blushing and force my feet to move. One stop closer...two...there. I've reached the top and he pulls me into a hug quickly before releasing me.

The surprise must show on my face, but I try to recover. "Hey, Tommy."

"How ya doin', Newtie?" he responds.

I laugh softly. "You really shouldn't call me that."

"Does it embarrass you?" he asks, suddenly serious, and looking a bit worried.

I punch him lightly on the arm. "Nah. It's okay, really. Actually -- " I stop myself just in time.

However, he doesn't let it drop. "Actually what?" He gives me a playful grin. "Don't tell me you like it...."

I drop my gaze, feeling my face flush yet again. "Well, s'not so bad, coming from you..."

"Ha! Knew it! You're crazy for me." With that, he links his arm through mine and begins strolling through the hallway without a care in the world, dragging me along with him.

I realize that there are two sides to Thomas -- the side he uses at school, the outgoing, popular, happy, mischievous side...and then there's the side I saw yesterday. That side of him is softer, less confident, and I have a feeling he doesn't let many people see it. I feel a rush of gratitude that I'm one of the few to know the deeper part of him.

Then suddenly, his last statement comes rushing back to me, and I feel a slight flicker of irritation. "Of course I am," I mutter, barely audibly, yet somehow he hears me.

"You are what? Crazy for me?"

I glance around, silently pleading with him to keep his voice down, then give up with a sigh of exaggeration. I realize that in no way is he going to hide the fact that we're together, and some small part of me is okay with that. But it's a small part, mind you...

I respond much more quietly than he did. "Yes," I say, putting all the emotion into that one small word that I can. "Of course I am, otherwise none of that would have happened yesterday." There, I've said it. Admitted that I like him a lot. Well, it's true, isn't it? Why does it embarrass and frighten me? "I'm not one to go around having crazy stupid flings," I add, not realizing how harsh it sounds until it's too late.

Oops.

Thomas's face shuts down, and he pulls away from me slightly. "Is that what you think I do?"

I take a deep breath. Don't panic. "No. That isn't what I meant. Thomas, if I'm being completely honest, I've never dated anybody before, okay? Never even come close to it. So this is all new to me. That's all I'm saying. But I wouldn't have come over yesterday if I didn't like and respect you."

We're stopped in front of his locker now; the other kids have mostly disappeared from the hall. Yep. I'm gonna be late. Oh well...this is more important, anyways.

Thomas is staring at me with a mixture of fascination and disbelief on his face. I hesitate, not wanting to disturb his thoughts, but then I reach up and quickly kiss him. "I'll see you at lunch?" I call, backing away from him.

He nods. Then his face clears a bit, and he smiles at me. I grin back, my heart melting. Gah, he's too adorable. "See you then," he responds, then adds, "Oh Newtie, hey, wait."

I pause. He jogs up to me, quickly closing the distance between us, and then, in the nearly-but-not-quite-deserted hall, he pulls me closer and kisses me with a ferocity that leaves me a little stunned, and a lot breathless.

When he pulls away, he gives me a crooked smile. "Well, I had to make up for your lousy excuse of a kiss, now didn't I?" Then he turns and is gone, with a happy glance over his shoulder and a wave.

Ugh, I think, unscrambling my thoughts. Lunchtime can't come soon enough...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XOXOXOXO


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nineeeeee

I'm absolutely, positively, one hundred percent certain there is no better feeling on earth than what I'm experiencing right now, as I think back to yesterday at Thomas's house, and today with him in the hallway. I'm hopelessly wrapped around his finger, but the strange thing is, that doesn't bother me. I trust Thomas not to abuse his influence over me, and I'm looking forward to every single minute that I can spend with him. Even if it's just stolen moments in a crowded hallway. I really don't care...as long as it's with him. 

I'm in love, I realize. That's crazy, I just met him. Yet, I can't deny the truth, any more than I can deny the fact that I'm now quite late for class. Oddly, this fact doesn't bother me either. I'm beginning to get the feeling that nothing can penetrate the sticky bubble of happiness I currently reside within. Well, unless I don't get to see Thomas...but that won't happen.

In class, most of the kids are dull-eyed and a couple have almost fallen asleep, yet I'm wide awake. My heart is too full of emotions for me to possibly be able to rest yet...whether that's a bad or good thing, I don't know yet. Probably both.

"Newton?" Mr. Carson asks, snapping me from my daze, and I realize I've missed his question. I stare back at him blankly, and just when I think I'm going to get a lecture for not paying attention, the girl in the seat next to mine whispers something to me that I can barely decipher. I repeat it anyways, and Mr. Carson turns away with a half-irked smile.

"Thanks," I whisper, when he's out of earshot.

She smiles at me. "I'm Teresa."

I nod. "Newton."

"Ohhhhh," she says, as though that explains something, but I'm not able to ask her what, because I decide it's more important to pay attention so I don't get in trouble.

The class ends, and I don't give the girl a second thought until lunchtime.

When. She's. In. My. Seat. Talking. To. My. Tommy. I stop in my tracks on my way over to the table, watching them laugh and have a splendid time, my insides squirming with a horrible feeling of betrayal and hurt. Then Thomas makes eye contact with me. He waves me over, and I feel my feet begin to take me forward against my better judgment.

It's not that I'm worried he likes Teresa at all -- it's the fact that she had the nerve to ruin my very happy day by showing up here hitting on Thomas. I tell myself to forget about it. I'm probably jumping to conclusions.

"Hey, Newton," Teresa greets me, and I sit down next to Thomas, returning her greeting with much less enthusiasm.

"Uh, Newt," Thomas begins, somwhat taken aback by my mood, "this is Teresa, as you know...um, my sister."

I feel my eyes go wide. "You have a sister?"

"Yep," Teresa confirms. "We were separated when our parents divorced, but we've gotten closer again recently, going to the same school now and all." She glances at Thomas playfully, then looks back at me. "Thomas told me all about you." Then with a roll of her eyes, she goes back to eating.

I feel my face flush, both embarrassed and highly pleased. A warmth starts in my belly and seeps outward to encompass my entire body, enveloping me in its comforting radiance. "You okay?" Thomas murmurs to me, and I laugh softly, which makes him smile and take my hand.

"I am now," I reply.

Teresa makes a gagging noise, and goes to leave. "Sorry, lovebirds, but I don't wanna stick around and see this." With a wink, she turns and is gone. I get the feeling she left more for our sake than hers, though.

I hear my phone beep and check to see that it's my mom - well, who else would it be? It's not like I have any friends - and the message reads:

Newton, honey, would you be alright by yourself at home tonight, baby? I have to work late, I'm so sorry, I just found out. Do you have a friend's house you could go to or something, if you don't feel like being home alone?

I feel bad for my mom, she's always working more than she should. Then the last part of the text registers, and I feel a smirk form on my lips.

"What is it?" Thomas asks, and I hand him the phone so he can read the text.

"So, is there any chance I could come over again tonight?" I bite my lip, excited and nervous once more.

He returns my smirk. "Heck yeah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And you look amazing today. 
> 
> Just so you know


	10. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow we go quickly. 
> 
> Chapter 10. And give a big applause for @weepinglily again

Immediately after school, we walk down to the small ice cream shop in town, and that's how Thomas learns that I'm vegan, which I'd meant to tell him yesterday, but hadn't gotten to it in the middle of...well...you know. So, out of guilt, he buys a soda along with me and we sit there, talking and laughing, and on his part, definitely flirting.

Overall, we have a great time, but I'm not going to lie and say I'm not looking forward to going back to his house afterwards.

"So," he says after a short silence. "I'm sorry about...um...yesterday." His face has flushed a deep red. For a moment I'm not sure if he's referring to the fact that we almost...well, made love, the first day we met each other, or the fact that he stopped and we didn't. Then I see the flash of pain in his eyes and know he's waiting for the rejection again, so it must be the second.

I reach across the table to take his hands. He meets my gaze, and I let out a soft laugh. "It's fine, Tommy, really, stop waiting for me to be upset with you, because I can tell you right now that's not gonna happen."

He gives me a halfhearted smile. "You're really too nice, you know that?"

I snort. "You're really too paranoid, slinthead."

Thomas frowns. "What?"

"Slinthead...um, oh, nothing," I mumble, searching for something to change the subject.

When he continues to stare at me expectantly, I sigh and give up. "Okay. So when I was younger, I had like this whole language I made up that I spoke in all the time. It was kinda nice, actually, made it easy to insult people without them realizing they were being insulted." I flash a grin at him. "As I've just proved."

"But what does it mean?" he laughs.

I shake my head. "Absolutely nothing. But you're free to use it, if you like."

"Hmm." He narrows his eyes at me playfully. "I might have to help you come up with this secret language. Then you'd have someone to use it with."

I take a sip of my drink to distract myself from his beautiful eyes. "Sure. If you want."

Laughing again, he goes to get up. "We'd better be heading back. Oh, yeah, my parents are out tonight."

"Both of them?" I nearly choke on my drink, stopping myself just in time from spitting out a mouthful of soda. Great, I think, oh bloody great, just what I need. Oh god. Why am I so nervous? Why, why, oh why... Frankly, I know it's because I have an idea what's going to happen. And am I ready for that? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know... Then I meet Thomas's gaze, his soft, gentle gaze that is full of care for me, with a touch of nervousness...and something else. Longing. I feel heat rise to my cheeks again because I'm clearly the object of his affections.

"Thomas?" I stumble over my words. "Can I ask you something...before we get settled in?"

He lets out a breath. "Sure."

"Okay." We start walking towards the door, and I search my mind frantically for the right words. "Have you...had many boyfriends?"

"Just one," he responds, his voice tense. "Last year. Um. It was..." he sighs, raking his fingers through his hair in a stressed manner. "It ended badly, let's just say."

"Who was it?" I ask quietly, as we walk down the sidewalk. I have the sudden impulse to hold his hand, so I do, and he turns to me with a gentle, grateful smile. I smile in return and wait for him to continue.

"Gally," he says at last, and to my surprise, there is no trace of anger or bitterness there, just a quiet exasperation that he's clearly carried within him for a while.

"He...broke up with you?" I ask tentatively, not wanting to push him too far, but also not willing to give up the one chance I may get to learn his story.

"You could say that." A pause. "I don't exactly want to talk about it right now. If that's okay," he adds, with a glance at me.

I'm warmed by his obvious concern for my feelings, and decide to put my curiosity aside for the time being. "Of course," I respond, and with a relieved sigh, he slings his arm comfortably across my smaller shoulders. I laugh softly. This day is perfect.

Or so I thought...

It's about to get better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've barely stepped through the doorway into Thomas's house when he sweeps me up into his arms unexpectedly, causing me to drop my school bag right there in the hallway. I sputter indignantly as he carries me across the house. "Thomas-what-are-you-doing?"

He kisses my cheek sweetly, causing my embarrassment to rise. I feel like a puny, scrawny little kid; he's holding me as though I weigh absolutely nothing.

"Oh come on," he teases, as he begins ascending the stairs. "Don't pretend you're not enjoying this."

I swat at him halfheartedly. "If you don't put me down-"

He cuts me off as he brings his lips to mine, and whatever I'd been about to say is not only now impossible to speak, but also forgotten. I moan and he laughs softly against my mouth, pushing open the door to his room with one arm and closing it behind him.

I don't even have time to feel nervous before he gently deposits me on the bed, kicking off his shoes haphazardly and then rushing to join me. I laugh at him, a sweet, adoring feeling swelling within my chest until I fear I may burst from the pure happiness of it.

Luckily, before that can happen, he's on top of me, and the entire world fades to just our bodies against each other, his lips pressed against my neck, our hands grasping desperately, and the sound of our rough and heated breathing.

I never want it to stop.

Then he pulls away. I feel a rush of confusion, and yes, perhaps a touch of hurt, before I realize what he's doing; he's pulling his shirt off. I hurry to help him, my nervousness from yesterday gone, melted as swiftly as a snowflake in the desert sun.

Or something like that, anyway.

He's surprisingly tan, and as his strong (relatively muscular) arms enfold me, I feel a rush of desire that surpasses the strength of any feeling I've ever had. I didn't even know the human heart could feel this much, it's amazing and confusing, but mostly it's so beautiful that I'm caught up past the point of turning back.

"Thomas..." I sigh, hardly aware of the fact that I'm speaking. He laughs and slips his hands beneath my shirt, causing me to shiver and momentarily pause with shock.

He frowns. "You don't have to-"

I place my fingers on his lips to shush him, to which he responds by smiling and kissing them. I shake my head helplessly at him, before I slide out of my shirt. That's when I realize my shoes are still on, so I go to remove them, but Thomas is quicker, dashing over to do it before I have the chance to. They both fall to the floor with a soft thump. I feel my heart rate accelerate again as he makes his way back to me; his hands find my waist, making me shiver. Then his mouth is on mine again, before he starts making his way down my neck, gently pulling at and teasing my skin.

The horrible yearning is beginning to drive me insane, so I press closer to him, and that's when I realize that somehow in the midst of things, he's managed to wriggle out of his jeans. His fingers are now gently playing at my stomach, causing me to squirm with nervous, anticipating butterflies, as he slowly slides his hands down to undo my pants. This is it, I think. Oh my god, what am I doing? Yet I don't stop him; I'm too far into this now.

When he's finished undoing them, he slides them down and they fall to the floor, leaving us lying there in nothing but our underwear. Thomas leans down, bringing his soft lips to my stomach, and I let out a gasp of shocked pleasure, my desperation mounting. As gently as I can, I push him away; he's confused until I climb on top of him, wrapping my legs around his and sliding my hands across his chest, earning a soft moan from him. I smile and bite my lip, feeling his sudden hardness against my leg. Hesitantly, my fingertips brushing his taut stomach, I then remove the last sparse article of clothing he's been wearing, and he does the same for me.

There. Now we're laid utterly bare before each other, and to my surprise, I'm not embarrassed. How could I be, when Thomas is nothing but gentle, sensitive, and desirable? He wants me as badly as I want him. It's the most beautiful, incredible thing to not have to restrain that desire any longer. In that moment, it's not him and I; because we're one and the same, our bodies so entangled and close, our hearts beating out a furious pace in sync, our lips dancing together with perfect time, the rhythm of our love causing our breaths to come shallow and our souls to radiate nothing but absolute bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So???? What ya say?
> 
> This is one of my fav chapters


	11. Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! There

In the midst of the grandest, most joyful and glorious night of my entire existence, the unthinkable happens. Thomas and I are lying there entwined on the bed, enveloped in a feeling of bliss, neither of us having any desire to get up, when my phone rings. I groan and muffle my face in Thomas's neck, wishing the sound would go away. But...since it could be my mom... Yes, I get up to answer it.

It's her. I flip open the phone. "Hi, Mom," I begin awkwardly, only to be cut off by a definitely unfamiliar male voice.

"This isn't your mom, son. She's in the hospital, and I was told you contact you. She's been...mugged and severely beaten."

I feel the air leave my lungs as though he's physically struck me. Oh, God, not my mom...not the beautiful, selfless, fragile person she is...oh my god...

"Are you there, son?" asks the guy, in a slightly miffed voice.

I swallow hard, banishing my shock. "Yes. I'll be there as soon as possible. Which hospital?"

He tells me, I thank him, and he hangs up. At the word hospital, Thomas sat up, and is perched on the edge of the bed, hair rumpled and a concerned look on his face. I just stand there, staring at the screen, long after the other end is dead. Finally, I meet his gaze.

"What's wrong, Newt?" he whispers, coming forward to take the phone. "Who was it?"

"My mom's in the hospital." My voice sounds hollow, emotionless. "She was..." Oh, I can't even say it. That's when the full horror of the situation encloses upon me, wrapping me in a cloak of pain that I can't escape, and I break down.

Thomas comes to hold me as I sob. My voice catches every other word, but I manage to tell him what happened, and he doesn't say anything, just cradles me as I cry. When I begin to recover, which only takes a few minutes, I feel a hot surge of anger, and I want to strangle whoever did this to her, but I know that: one, I can't do that and get away with it, and two, I need to go see my mom. Now.

"Can you drive?" I ask Thomas shakily, rubbing the tears from my face as I pull on clothes as quickly as possible.

He nods. "I'm so sorry. God, I just -- " He doesn't finish, but I nod anyway; I can tell he's angry, and shocked, but obviously not as much as I am.

"Ready?" he asks me, and then we're in the car and on our way. I barely even notice that we're moving; I just stare blankly ahead at the darkened city, the cars flashing past in a seemingly meaningless blur of bright lights.

"Hey," Thomas says, snapping me out of it. "Look at me, Newt." I do. "You've gotta be strong for her. I can't imagine the emotional war inside of you right now, but there's nothing you can do, no matter how much you'd like to." I try to feel angry at his words, but his voice is so kind and worried, and so full of love for me, that I can't be upset with him.

I nod. "Yeah. Thanks," I respond dully.

"Newt? I love you." He looks me straight in the eye. "I know we've only known each other a couple of days, but I'm also in love with you, and I...I never knew I could feel this way about anyone. I'm here if you need me, okay?"

I bury my face in my hands, the tears coming again, this time from gratitude. "Thank you," I whisper, not wanting to meet his gaze at the moment. My face must be so red from crying.

"Look at me," he whispers, so reluctantly, I do.

"I love you too, Tommy," I reply in a hoarse voice. "I love you too."

"We'll get through this," he says softly. "Together. And God, we'll make whoever did this pay."

I laugh bitterly. "If only we could meet him personally..."

Thomas takes my hand and squeezes it. I'm grateful for the reassurance. Was it really just yesterday that I met this wonderful, charming, but secretly sweet and sensitive boy? The one with the captivating blue eyes, the one who told jokes and was popular, but was actually broken inside, afraid to confide his troubles to anyone? How could it be that I'm the person he picked, to love and be loved by? It puzzles, me, yet in a way...it fits. And I love him too.

My world is collapsing right now, but Thomas will try to hold it up for as long as he can, I just know he will. When the tears come again, we're parked outside the hospital, and Thomas gathers me into his arms. He holds me until my eyes are dry, and then a bit longer, until I've composed myself. He pulls back to inspect my no-longer-tearstained face, then kisses me softly before getting out of the car.

I can't tell you how grateful I am for him, I really can't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> Love you


	12. Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will mommy Newton react on Tommy boy?
> 
> We'll see

We ask for help finding the room, and soon we're being ushered down a long, cold, white hallway. Is it just me, or have hospitals always seemed...uninviting? With that strange stale hospital smell, and everything so crisp and orderly all of the time, they always creep me out a bit. I'm no different today.

Although...Thomas is here. His arm is wrapped snugly around my shoulders, and mine is around his waist; this position should embarrass me, considering what a public place it is, but oddly, I'm comfortable with it. I could use his stability right now -- both physically and emotionally, I'm going to need him.

I think of what he said earlier: He loves me. To be honest, I can't believe it; yet I'm pretty sure I knew before he told me. Perhaps our souls fell in love the moment we met; that first concerned glance, the brief touch of our hands... It all set my heart to pounding out a different tune, a lighter, happier one... And now I can share that tune with him. Or so I'd thought. Before this happened...

Pain assails me again. I'm afraid to see my mother, to face the brutal horror of what's been done to her. I feel like a coward. At the same time, however, I want nothing more than to hold her, to comfort her, to tell her everything's going to be fine and that I'll always be an arm's length away if she needs me.

I take a deep, shaky breath. Thomas notices. He releases me a bit and turns to face me, then plants a sweet kiss on my forehead. My eyes close, briefly lost in the simplicity of the moment. Then he pulls me along, and I follow, reluctant yet hurried.

I need to see her. I don't want to...yet I do. I have to. How can I? How can I not? She's my mother!

I've stopped trying to keep up with my own thoughts. We reach the door, number 319. The nurse pauses, opens her mouth as if to tell us something, then snaps it shut again. Almost reluctantly, she stands back to wave us through.

Trembling, I feel Thomas squeeze my hand in silent reassurance. Then I enter the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! How are you?


	13. Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mommy Newton... How is she doing? What is going to happen in Newton's (used to be simple) life

The room is dim, but not so dark that I can't see my mother clearly. She lies on the cold hospital bed, her arms wrapped around herself, staring blankly at the wall ahead of her. When she sees the door open, she turns to face us; her eyes light up just the slightest bit, which encourages me, and I run to her, throwing my arms carelessly around her. I squeeze her, and she winces. "Ouch...Newton..."

I jerk back. "Sorry." That's when I really see her up-close. Her eyes are red and swollen, no doubt from crying her poor heart out, and purple bruises are starting to color her delicate cheeks. Oh my god, I can't take this. The anger rushes up inside me again, consuming my thoughts, controlling my emotions. I squeeze my eyes shut in hopes of blocking it all out. "I'm so sorry, Mom..." My voice breaks and then I'm sobbing in front of her, and she pulls me into her arms gently.

"It's okay, baby, don't cry please..."

I can't help it, though, and soon she's crying as well, her tears falling silently upon my skin.

"Shh. We'll be okay, baby. Everything's okay."

I back up, sniffing, wiping my tears away angrily. "You shouldn't be comforting me. Are you okay?"

Stupid question, but what else can I ask?

She nods, tears spilling over and running down her cheeks. Her eyes meet mine, then flicker away, pain flashing in them. I'm once again faced with the overwhelming anger and fear, but I try to shove it aside for her sake. I have to stay whole. I have to hold myself together; I can do this.

"I love you, Mom," I say, but my voice sounds small and frail even to me; I know she can tell I'm holding back. Well, as much as I'm capable of, at least.

"I love you too, honey." Suddenly, she seems to notice Thomas for the first time, who stands behind us somewhat awkwardly, hands shoved deep into his pockets as his eyes take in the room, trying not to focus on us.

"Hey, who's this?" she asks, pulling away from me, the smallest hint of a knowing smile creeping onto her face.

"Uh." I straighten up, composing myself, cursing myself for crying so much in front of both my mother and Thomas. Ugh. This night just plain sucks, or at least it does now. Not so much earlier.... I push that thought away hurriedly, heat rising in my cheeks as I force aside the memory of Thomas and I together.

And to think...all of that happened while my mother was at work, alone and defenseless, ruthlessly mugged by a stranger I've come to hate without ever laying eyes upon the guy...

"This is, um, Thomas." I shuffle backwards to make room for him, and Thomas comes forth quickly to gently shake my mom's hand. He gives her a small, warm smile.

"I'm sorry about what happened, Ms. Shaffer. I'm truly sorry about what happened." His eyes cloud with pain, and I feel my heart swell in gratitude that this amazing, strong, kindhearted guy is my boyfriend, that he cares about my mom's welfare almost as much as I do, and without ever even meeting her. Tears prick at my eyes again, tears of gratefulness, and I brush them away swiftly, hoping no one will notice.

But Thomas doesn't miss much, and his eyes never stray long from me, so he sees me and gives me an inconspicuous wink. Gah, I love him. My face breaks out into a smile; how can you not smile at a face like that?

"Okay, you two, come out with it," says my mother suddenly, sounding exactly like the normal mom I'm used to. Her tone is slightly impatient, yet teasing, her eyes dancing with mischief.

"What?" I ask, my attention focused on her again. I shuffle my feet nervously; is it really that obvious?

Thomas glances at me, hesitates, then looks back at my mom. She directs her penetrating mother-look at him now, and he bites his lip, then begins to speak.

"You see, ma'am, well...quite frankly, I believe I'm now Newton's boyfriend," he says, his honest, irresistible eyes trying to read her reaction.

I attempt to close my gaping mouth, shocked by his boldness, yet also happy about it. He apparently doesn't feel that we have anything to hide, and he isn't afraid to confess his feelings to my mother, which means the world to me, really.

Wow, am I a mess tonight; I can feel the emotions choking me again.

My mother narrows her eyes, glancing back and forth between us as though searching for confirmation. Then, to my amazement, she breaks out grinning. "Oh, Newton baby, I'm so happy for you!" She squeals like a young girl, which makes me roll my eyes, yet I have to grin in return.

Thomas turns to me, delighted. "You didn't tell me she'd react like this," he says, half-teasing, half-accusing, as he crushes me in a hug.

"Well, to be honest I didn't know." I roll my eyes again, slightly uncomfortable by his obvious affection, yet I try to get over it. Why should I be nervous? It's just my mom, and apparently, she approves of us.

I clear my throat. Thomas releases me, sneaking in a quick kiss before he does, which makes me blush a deep scarlet, yet I can't hide my delight.

"I'm sorry you have to deal with this...right now," I say nervously, but my mom cuts me off.

"Newton, this is the best thing that's happened in a long time, and I can't tell you how grateful I am that it occurred at this exact moment. I love you, and I'm so happy for you both." She gives Thomas a positively radiant smile. "I could really use some good news right now, anyway. Don't apologize. It's perfect."

Really? I feel an enormous weight leave me, making me feel light and bubbly, as though I could run about singing, which is ridiculous, considering I don't even sing. Ever. Plus, my mom's still feeling horrible, I'm sure; how can I be having happy thoughts at a time like this? Does that make me shallow?

Yet the mood in the room is irresistible; Thomas wraps his arm around my shoulder, and Mom is so overjoyed for us...how can I not feel excited?

I rest my head against Thomas's shoulder, sudden relief and exhaustion filling me. I slide into a chair beside my mom's bed, taking her hands in mine; Thomas pulls up a seat next to me, and the three of us talk -- just talk. It may seem like little, yet to me it's the world.

Everything aligns perfectly in that moment. I am whole, I am loved, and with the two people I really care about relatively happy and safe...my life is complete.

My head falls upon his shoulder again, but this time, I don't move it. I succumb to the exhaustion, and within moments, I'm asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god! You look so nice today


	14. Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thanks for still reading

Thomas's POV:

Newt is leaning against me, sleeping peacefully, completely worn out from the events of the day. I glance over at his mother, who's also asleep, and feel a smile tug at my lips. Despite my tiredness, I've managed to hold it at bay for a while; I need some time to think. Newt and I fell into this relationship very quickly, very hard, and I'm really hoping it's not just a short fling or something. I really, really like him, and he seems to care for me as well, but I can't help but get to worrying sometimes...

Especially after Gally. I know I should put him out of my head, but I can't. I had a strange relationship with him, to say the least...one that was intense, passionate, and full of surprises -- and yet, in the end, he always found a way to hurt me. I don't know if he did it on purpose, of if it was merely his careless attitude that caused him to seemingly have such little consideration for my feelings, but I do know that he damaged me, time and time again, through lying and cheating. Why did I stay with him, you ask? Despite it all, I loved him. And I thought I was special to him.

Am I special? After Gally, I had decided that I wasn't. I pretended to be, of course; I played the 'cool kid' role that others had decided for me...yet, I felt broken. Worthless.

That began to change yesterday. It wasn't obvious at first; I thought I just had an attraction to Newt, but really...I think he could mend me. His innocence, his soft nature, his need for someone to lean on -- I think I could love him for all of those reasons, and more. Yet we've only known each other a few days. I don't want to rush this.

I feel a wave of panic, thinking that if I'm not careful, he'll leave me. Just like Gally did...like everyone has. Well, not true. I have Teresa. She's an awesome sister, but I don't get to see her all the time...and besides, I want someone to want me. I want someone to love me, not because we're family and it's dictated that family do so, but because they've chosen me, they've deemed me important, special.

Is that selfish? I don't know anymore.

I sigh and close my eyes, telling myself to stop worrying. I'll be able to do that later. For now, Newt's head upon my shoulder is the best feeling in the world, awakening a gentle protectiveness inside of me.

Whatever happens, I'll always be grateful for this moment, for the fact that, even for a short while, Newt did choose me. He loves me, and he may not be perfect, but neither am I. Nobody is. What's important is that I'm not giving up on him, on us...not yet, anyways.

Can I trust again? Can I love him as I've loved before?

I want to. God, I really want to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How can something so deadly feel so right? -Beyonce


	15. Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas POV was cool. 
> 
> Give weepinglily a applause again. Please

(Newt POV) 

Thomas apparently isn't allowed to sleep in the hospital, having no relation to me or my mother (the nurses wouldn't accept him being my boyfriend for an answer). So, I find myself stuck in a horrid situation, really: Do I let Thomas leave, seeing as it's really late and he hasn't even explained things to his parents yet -- which would result in me stuck in the hospital with no one to confide in as I watch over my mom? Or do I, God forbid, leave my poor hurting mother by herself for the sake of 1. Me actually getting some quality rest, and 2. Not having to leave Thomas (at least for the moment)?

I can't decide. And it's getting later every moment.

Thomas stands in the doorway, trying to convince me that he should go, and I almost believe him, but the thought of him leaving me now is close to unbearable. I need him to stay -- I hate hospitals, and the emotional drain and stress of the day has really gotten to me; I'm quite sure i'm on the verge of a breakdown (again! *sigh*).

"You kids go," my mom mumbles in a sleepy voice. "I promise, they've drugged me so badly I won't even notice you're gone; I'll be out like a light in three minutes."

I give her a long look; she can barely keep her eyes open, and her words are badly slurred, so I do believe what she's said is true. Returning my gaze to Thomas, I bite my lip and hesitate. He smiles at me, a soothing sight that makes me weak in the knees, and results in the irrational urge to run to him and hug him tightly around the waist, fall asleep against his chest...

I snap out of my daydream with a mental face-palm. How can I think of these things when my poor, beautiful mother is lying right here, full of medicine to kill the pain of what she's been through? How?

Yet that obviously isn't fair to myself -- I've been through a bit of trauma today as well, what with worrying over her, and of course the energy high of what happened earlier.

I just want to crumple to the floor in defeat and make someone else decide for me. Why does this have to be so difficult? Oh yeah, I remember, because the only two people in the world I care about are here, in this room, and one of them is leaving, so how could I possibly choose who to stay with?

"Newt," Thomas says softly; I blink, startled to find that he's standing right in front of me. "What do you want to do?" He glances at the clock nervously as he says it.

"Shit," I mutter, then correct myself instantly, "Shoot -- I meant shoot." It doesn't matter anyway -- true to her word, my mother is deeply asleep. I blink up at Thomas, my eyelids heavy, oh so heavy....

"I -- I don't know," I stutter. "Look, I'm really sorry I dragged you into this...I know you should have been home hours ago and I just feel so terrible..."

"It's okay, really," he assures me, then hesitates before continuing. "To be perfectly honest...my father is somewhat of an alcoholic. He probably won't even notice I'm gone." There's an undercurrent of bitterness in his tone, but not as much as I would have expected.

"What about your mother?" I ask, frowning.

"Works midnights. She's a doctor," he explains.

"Oh." I don't know how to respond. Then: "She doesn't work here, does she?"

Thomas shakes his head. "Nah. I just hope she doesn't know I'm gone, otherwise she'll worry. But honestly, it's fine," he adds quickly. "I think...I think you should come home. Spend the night at my house, just so you...you know, so you don't have to be alone."

I know a lot of people would have taken that the wrong way -- it sounds like an invitation to, well, you know. But that's not how Thomas means it; I can see that he's genuinely worried about me, and we both know we won't have enough energy to do anything other than collapse into a comatose sleep when we finally get back home.

I nod, my head drooping. "Okay. Let's go."

He takes my hand. "Good that."

"What?" My head snaps up; I'm confused by the unfamiliar term.

"Well, I was just thinking," he says as he leads me through the hallways, "you know how you have that secret language of yours? If I add some phrases to it, then it'll be our language, won't it? A joint effort." He rumples my hair, making me blush slightly.

"Okay," I yawn. "That actually sounds like a good idea."

He grins. "Of course it does -- all of my ideas are great."

"You're so full of yourself," I mumble halfheartedly, poking him in the stomach. Then I lean against him as we stumble out to the car, me half-asleep as I climb inside.

"You sure you're safe to drive?" I ask through another gigantic yawn -- god, am I tired.

"Yup!" he says, turning the key and flipping on the radio, which makes me nearly jump out of my skin as rock blares through the speakers.

"Geez! You could've warned me!" I complain, before realizing that I recognize the tune -- it's "Centuries" by Fall Out Boy. "Hey, I like this song."

He shoots me an amused look. "I do too."

"We should discuss music tomorrow," I mumble randomly, already at the brink of sleep.

The last think I know is Thomas taking my hand gently, then everything fades to the background as I slip into the comfort of slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Newty boy is prettyfull and Tommy is so gentleman. Omg


	16. Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk this chapter is fluffy

The feeling of the soft mattress and a pillow beneath my head is pure heaven as I collapse onto Thomas's bed. I'm too tired to even listen to what he's saying, but I think he's explaining that he'll sleep on the floor so I have more room. I feel bad that I'm so out of it -- but then again, I'm almost too exhausted to even feel bad.

Sleep comes swiftly, and is welcomed.

~~~~~~

The next morning, I wake to find Thomas's arm around me, causing me to make a small gasp of surprise and pull away. The instant I do, however, I regret it; Thomas wakes with a startled jump and retreats from me. "Sorry," he mumbles.

I shake my head. "No, no no. I'm sorry -- you just surprised me, that's all." I scoot closer to him, wondering what time it is. "Did you sleep alright?"

"Yeah." He yawns. "You looked lonely though, and I didn't have much luck on the floor, so..."

"So you crawled into bed next to me." I feel myself smiling.

He pokes me. "Basically. How about you -- feeling alright?"

I sigh. "Yeah; I'd better go see my mom as soon as possible, though. Do you know what time it is?"

"No idea. Let me go check." He's gone before I can protest -- doesn't the shank have a clock in his room? I think as he returns.

"It's almost eight." He perches uncertainly on the edge of the bed.

I pat the spot next to me. "I don't have to leave quite yet."

A slow smile spreads across his face, erasing all traces of sleepiness. It's sort of a shame, really; he's adorable when he's tired.

Thomas crawls across the bed and plops down next to me with a sigh. I hesitate, then begin trailing my fingers along his arm.

"This is weird," I whisper.

He lets out a laugh that sounds like a snort. "What, sleeping with me right after we met wasn't weird, but sharing a bed just to get some halfway decent rest is?"

I frown, not really sure how to answer. "Thomas?" I say quietly. "Are you going to...dump me?"

The laughter leaves his eyes, and he sits up to stare at me sternly. "Stop it; of course I'm not. Now quit worrying yourself -- we have to go see your mom. Right?"

"Good that," I mumble.

He kisses me. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Despite everything, I smile. "I am now."

"Good." He jumps up, pulling me with him. "You look like a mess," he observes, which makes me punch him halfheartedly.

"Better than you," I retort, to which he raises his eyebrows.

"Course you do," he responds without a pause. "That's cause you're one cute guy."

I feel my face go red. "What?" I splutter, trying to regain my composure.

"I told you the day we met," he says, facing me, "you're cute. Honestly, don't you know that?"

"But you're..." I trail off.

He meets my eyes. "I'm...?"

"Like, really hot," I mutter, embarrassed. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that? Trust me, I am not good-looking next to you." I focus on combing the knots out of my hair as an excuse not to look at him.

Thomas lets out a chuckle, but I can see he's embarrassed too. "Trust me, you are. But for argumen'ts sake, let's just say we're equally hot, alright?" He winks at me playfully, to which I sigh; why did I ever bring the topic up? Oh wait, I didn't, it's all his fault...

"You are so odd," I reply, checking in the mirror to make sure I look at least halfway decent -- my mom would flip out if I didn't. I smile a bit at the thought; after everything, she'd honestly be more worried about the wrinkles in my clothes than the shape she's in.

"What's so funny?" Thomas asks, unexpectedly wrapping his arms around me. Why am I so jumpy toady? I wonder, trying to relax.

However, it's hard not to let my mind wander...to the sensation of his fingers resting lightly against my stomach...or the fact that the entire front of his body is pressed against my back...

"You are very distracting," I whisper to him, half annoyed, but more disoriented than anything.

His lips explore my neck. "I try to be," he breathes against my skin, making me shiver.

Oh, god. Why can't we stay here all day...? Oh, yeah. Mom. My mom's in the hospital. I snap out of my daze with a jolt.

"We need to go," I say. "Do you have any idea what my mom would do...if she knew why we're wasting time..."

He chuckles again. "But she loves me, doesn't she?"

"Yes, but she doesn't exactly know what we spent yesterday afternoon doing," I reply, a very valid point, in my opinion.

"What she doesn't know can't hurt her, right?"

I laugh. "Whatever, shank."

"What'd you call me?" He sounds indignant.

"Shank. An insult," I explain.

"Oh yeah." Thomas does a quick check in the mirror. "You wanted to talk about music," he says suddenly, and so I immediately take up the subject as he pulls me down the stairs and we tiptoe to the door. Once in the car, Thomas flips on the radio and begins blaring song after song. I laugh at him, actually enjoying myself. How can one simply not enjoy oneself, when in Thomas's presence?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I care about you


	17. Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1777777777

My mom's feeling much better today, to my relief, although she's still pretty exhausted. I think it's more the emotional stress than physical pain, but I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.

After we've spent several hours with her, the nurse comes in to check on her, and Mom says that we should go "enjoy ourselves", whatever that means. I'm really worried and I feel guilty for leaving her, but she convinces us to go.

"I love you, Mom," I say, bending down to kiss her forehead.

She smiled up at me, squeezing my hand. "Love you too, kiddo."

"I'll see you soon," I promise as I back away towards the door, towards Thomas.

"I know you will. And I'll be out of here as soon as possible, don't worry."

Why is my mom so strong? She's amazing, and I admire her for everything that she does. The fact that we have such a close bond makes me extra protective, but I know that I can't shield her from harm all the time -- as proven by the events yesterday. I sigh as we close the door quietly, retreating down the hallway.

"What's up?" asks Thomas, upon hearing my sigh.

"Nothing," I respond. "I just feel so bad for what happened to her. Why do jerks like that have to exist?'

Thomas frowns. "It's pretty horrible. I really wish we could change it."

Those are the last words spoken until we get into the car; I'm absorbed with my own thoughts. How can we change it? I mean, one person can't shift the views of the whole world, but they should certainly do their best, in whatever way they can...right?

"What're you thinking about?"

I snap out of my daze. "Just wondering." I flash him a smile. "I'm fine, really. So, what do you want to do today?"

"I don't know, honestly," he says, flipping on the radio. "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons is on, and I let out a "yassss" involuntarily, causing Thomas to give me a strange look.

"What?" I say, blushing. "I like this song....a lot."

"Obviously," he chuckles. "You're adorable when you fanboy, you know that?"

I punch his arm, yet I feel oddly flattered. "I bet you're even more adorable, though."

He makes a face, mouth twisted into a contemplating (yet clearly disagreeing) smirk. "Nah, not really. I honestly don't fanboy all that much...."

I narrow my eyes. "Well, we're going to have to change that, now won't we?"

His eyes flicker between the road and my face. "How're you going to do that, hmm?"

"You have to find something that you love so much, it hurts. Something that tears your soul to pieces -- but in a good way -- makes you rethink reality, and turns you into a crazy, happy fan." I realize it sounds stupid, but it's the truth.

"You know, you kind of do that to me," is Thomas's response.

I attempt not to giggle and fail. "Does everything come down to you being the most mushy, sappy, romantic, lovey-dovey person in the world?"

"I'm only that way around you," he replies through a grin.

"See what I mean?! Good god, what am I going to do with you?" I sigh in mock exasperation. A few moments pass in silence, and then I speak up again. "You know I don't mean that, right?"

"Of course you don't."

"No, but seriously..." I hesitate, struggling to put my thoughts into words that'll make sense. "I kind of love it. A lot."

He gives me a smug look. "I kind of love you. A lot."

It's a good thing I'm not the one driving, because I probably would have nearly crashed three times by now. Whilst I struggle to form a response, Thomas returns his attention to the road.

"I'm pretty good at this seducing thing, aren't I?" he muses.

"You're too good at it," I correct him.

"One can never be too good at something," he argues lightheartedly.

I ponder that. "I suppose not. Have you decided what we're doing yet?"

A softness creeps into his eyes, a gentle, happy look that makes me feel like melting into a puddle and never recovering. How can he do that with just a glance?

"Is that a yes?" I inquire, disoriented.

He nods affirmatively. "It's not what you think. There's actually...well, there's this place I want to show you."

I reach across to take his hand, giving it a squeeze. "I'll go wherever you will go."

"Are you quoting song lyrics to me??" he sputters, making me laugh.

"Maybe."

"I like it," he replies softly.

"Told you you're a fanboy at heart," I whisper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Just remember I am here to talk to you. I love you. xxx


	18. Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut.
> 
> HEHEHEHEH

"Where exactly are you taking me?" I ask curiously as I search stations on the radio.

Thomas smiles mysteriously. "You'll see."

I sigh and lean back, settling for "Roar" by Katy Perry even though I hate the song, just because there's absolutely nothing on the radio.

"I have CDs, you know," Thomas says, taking note of my lack of success finding a good song.

"Really? Why didn't you say so earlier?" I exclaim, hurrying to open the console where the CDs are stored. I grab a handful and begin to sort through them, taking note of Fall Out Boy, Imagine Dragons, Bastille, and - to my surprise - Ed Sheeran.

"You like Ed Sheeran?" I ask, just as Thomas turns onto a long gravel driveway. I glance around; where on earth are we? I begin to feel a fluttering of nervousness in my stomach -- where could he possibly be taking me?

"Um, yeah," Thomas says in response to my question. "Don't judge me."

I laugh. "Hey, I'm not judging. In fact, I love your taste in music."

He smiles at me, then returns his eyes to the road.

"Where are we going?" I whisper secretively.

"Somewhere only we know," is his response.

It takes me a moment, before I realize that's the name of a song by the band Keane. With the realization comes an odd feeling of...well...happiness, and, cheesy as it sounds, love. I'm in love with this boy. Suddenly, that fact becomes utterly clear to me, so clear in fact that I want to shout it to the world -- I don't care who knows or who judges. We only have so much time to live, and I believe in making the most of it. I'm just so blessed to have met Thomas. How can this wonderful guy actually be mine??

"You okay?" Thomas asks, when I've been silent for a few moments.

I don't reply, but he meets my gaze, and I know he can sense my change in mood. I'm overwhelmed by emotion, overcome by a mixed surge of protectiveness and lust. I want to feel his body against mine again, want to hear him say my name softly, want him to cradle me and treasure me as though I were something precious, something lovable. Am I that? I've never felt so wanted as I do with Thomas...is it so bad that I have this craving for him?

"What're you thinking about?" he asks, his mood having grown more serious as mine did. I think I can hear a note of desire in his voice, but I'm not certain.

"You," I reply, clearing my throat a bit. "I just..." Why on earth is it so shucking hard for me to finish a sentence when I'm around him? I seriously need to get myself together. "I just realized that I don't think I want to live a moment of my life without you by my side." I allow for a short pause, and then ask quietly, "Does that scare you?"

I realize vaguely that the car has stopped; the engine hums, a soft background noise, but not something I'm particularly aware of at the moment. Thomas shifts in his seat, turning towards me and reaching across to take my face gently in his hands. "You could never scare me," he whispers hoarsely, an instant before our lips meet.

The kiss is urgent, passionate, both of us craving the other's touch. What am I doing? We can't just get carried away in his parents' car, out in the middle of nowhere.... I try to form a rational thought about the situation, and almost succeed, but then all sense slips from my grasp and I'm too far gone to care. Thomas's lips search my own, then trail down my neck, biting and sucking gently.

"Thomas," I say, struggling to focus enough to be able to form words, "are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Positive," he responds in a near-growl, turning the key to shut off the car with one hand before he crawls on top of me. There's so little space in here, I know I would be claustrophobic if Thomas wasn't distracting me from everything else. He reaches down to lean the seat backwards, causing our lips to break apart for a moment, but then he's on me again. I didn't realize he could be so demanding, so authoritative. It was slower, gentler, less certain last time -- but that doesn't mean I'm complaining.

Did he really bring me out here just to seduce me into this? Or was there actually something he wanted to show me...something that's clearly forgotten about now?

Whatever the case, it obviously isn't of high importance at the moment. The only thing I care about is the feel of his lips on mine, our arms wrapped each other, and the promise that tomorrow, Thomas will still be here. That he isn't going to leave me, that he cares about me, and that this isn't just a fling. I simply couldn't handle that...couldn't bear to become so emotionally attached only to be cast aside. He won't do that to me...right?

I still don't know a whole lot about Thomas, to be honest. I don't know what happened with him and Gally. I don't know all of his passions and hobbies; I don't know what he wants to do for a living. But I know that I can trust him. And I know that I love him. For now, the rest can wait.

For now, the world can wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wellllllll. How are y'all?


	19. Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Get ready now.

There is a certain appeal in losing oneself; in giving your body and soul completely to another, surrendering your very being and not caring one tiny bit what the other does with it.

That is how I feel with Thomas.

Our lives are so intermingled now; it happened quickly, almost casually, yet now my every thought is made more special because of him. He's made me, silly, inconsequential me, feel special. In a world of bullies who like to spend their time calling people freaks and losers (not to mention the ones who would hate on me simply for being gay), Thomas has taken away all of that hate and replaced it with love.

I never believed in soul-mates till now, but I find myself nearly desperately wanting to hope that they exist. That Thomas is mine; that he will be mine, now and forever.

Because, to tell you the truth, that's all I'd ever need in order to go on. To keep fighting.

I could keep eve promise I've ever made, obey the rules, learn to love...if only Thomas were there to teach me. He is precious to his core, and I can't believe he feels the same about me. Yet that's the thing...I'm beginning to believe in my own value once again, thanks to him.

And, of course, thanks to my mother. She's never given up on me or let me down, not for one minute. She loves Thomas nearly as much as I do... I can only fantasize about a 'someday', when Thomas and I older...a wedding, maybe...

That thought shocks me enough to come to my senses. It's been a week since mom's accident; she's back home now, but still recovering. I'm just glad to have her around again. However, as I sit here, realizing that I've fallen into a lucid daydream again, I come to the rather disorienting conclusion that an hour has already passed, and my class is almost over.

I begin to shove books stealthily into my bag, prepared to make a run for it as soon as the bell rings.

I try to hide my smirk as I sling the bag over my shoulder and then lean forward, propping my chin on top of my folded hands. I can't help but feel happy, and consequentially confident, whenever I think of Thomas. I just hope nobody I know notices me acting strange...

I'm not very good at hiding my emotions, you know. I've always been rather an open book. That's never exactly been a problem, however, until now...

Because, finally, after so much waiting and searching, I have something that I want. That I love; and that I have no desire to lose. Yet I fear that my feelings would be scorned, disapproved of, if left in the open. And I can't lose Thomas; I simply can't. I just don't know what to do yet. If the others know how i feel about him...will I lose what few friends I've come to make here?

Then, I realize, does it really matter? If they're going to ditch me over the fact that I'm in love with a boy -- and the most sweet, intelligent, and lovable boy in existence, I might add -- then why were they my friends to begin with?

That settles it. No more hiding. I'll have to tell the others later.

I glance over my shoulder surreptitiously, as the dark-haired Asian boy who sits behind me in history. His face is relaxed; he's half-asleep as he watched the teacher with a lazy, contented look on his face. I shake my head; what a dork, but in such an adorably annoying sort of way. Before I realize it, I'm blushing; I turn my face quickly towards the front of the class again, refocusing on the teacher.

What the hell was that? I think to myself. Did you seriously...just...hit...on...another...guy? After everything you've been through with Thomas?

I'm so stunned that my mind goes completely blank, and I can't focus on another thing till the bell rings and I'm forced to leap up, scurrying out before I can catch the kid's eye again. Minho. That's his name. Why do I remember that?

Shaking my head again at my own stupidity, and a bit horrified with myself, I hurry towards the cafeteria with a queasy, unsettled yet excited feeling in my stomach. Do I have butterflies? Over Minho...or Thomas? Or -- yet more disturbing -- both?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot twist! TADAAAAAA


	20. Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did that Minewt really happened?! Nooooooo. Yes? Yes.

What am I going to say to Thomas? I panic as I approach the cafeteria, my heart pounding at an alarmingly fast rate. He's sure to notice something is wrong...what can I say to him? I glance around, searching for a distraction, something to calm me down. I'm acting far too guilty for my own good... Am I guilty? What, really, have I done to warrant shame? I've acknowledged the attractiveness of another male my age, who happens not to be my boyfriend...but that doesn't mean I've done something wrong. We all have these moments. Right?

I've almost convinced myself that there's nothing to worry about, when Thomas appears. He snakes his arms around my waist and crushed me in a bear hug. I'm only able to let out a small "oof" as he then gently releases me and grabs my hand, pulling me towards an empty table he's picked out.

With a small, adoring smile, I roll my eyes at his enthusiasm and follow him more slowly.

"What's up?" Thomas says as we take our seats, me placing my bag on the chair next to me.

I twiddle my thumbs nervously, unsure how to answer. "Um...nothing." I shake my head. It's nothing. Jeez, I haven't done anything. I just need some time to think, is all...

"You sure?" Thomas asks, a concerned frown upon his face. I smile and reach my hands across the table to take his, gently stroking his fingers. He has such soft hands.

"I'm sure," I reply, giving my best determined voice. "What about you? How was your morning?"

He lets out a long sigh. "Fine. Aside from Gally..."

"Gally?" I glance up quickly at the mention of that name. What has the dumb shank done now?

"Yeah...he was trying to get a hold of me all day, and I kept avoiding him, but finally he confronted me." Another sigh. I clench my teeth, wondering where this is going. "He's such an asshole," Thomas mutters under his breath, running his hands through his hair in a stressed manner.

"Hey." I catch his eye. "It's okay. We don't need to talk about it now, alright?"

Thomas shakes his head. "No..it's fine. I want to. Gally was just being a prick, asking how I could dare to go out with you after 'everything we've been through'." He lets out a sarcastic snort at that. "Like he hadn't cheated and dumped me twenty something times before we 'officially' broke up."

I take a deep breath, attempting to control my anger. And I'd thought that me having a possible crush on Minho was something to worry about...but this...this is much worse. I don't want the ghosts from Thomas's past to haunt him anymore; I really don't. He deserves so much better; he deserves to have what he wants. And, frankly, believe it or not -- what he wants right now is me.

"Don't let him get to you too much," I suggest gently. "He's just jealous."

"I know, I know..." Thomas averts his eyes. "I just feel...guilty. He likes to do that to me."

"Don't," I say, in a rather harsh tone. "Don't feel bad for him. He doesn't deserve that -- and you deserve to be happy, you know that? He had his chance; he blew it. Besides..." I lower my voice. "I care more about you now than he ever could in ten lifetimes."

That earns a sweet smile from Thomas. "You always have the magic words, you know that?"

I grin back at him, then begin eating my salad. "I try."

With a resigned look, Thomas begins eating. I try not to grimace at the sight of the food -- steak and mashed potatoes. Being vegan, it's hard to see others eat meat and dairy products around me...it disgusts me, to some extent, and takes away my appetite.

I push my plate away, and Thomas notices. He quickly puts two and two together (he's rather smart like that), and stops eating. "You alright? Is this...bothering you?"

I shake my head, although he's right. "It's just...eh. I'm queasy today, is all. But....well, yeah, it does bother me, actually..." I falter.

He takes his plate to the trash, which just makes me feel worse, because now there's wasted money and food (not that I would have commended anyone for eating it anyway) and returns to me. "Sorry," he whispers softly, wrapping his hands gently around my thin wrists. "I didn't realize it was such a big deal. I mean -- no, that sounded bad..."

Smiling at his awkwardness, I quickly lean in to kiss his cheek. "Stop blabbering," I scold. "It's fine. And...thank you."

He nods, raising his eyes to mine once again -- those gorgeous, amazing blue eyes, the ones that leave me feeling weak and flustered and utterly blissful...I could get lost in them again.

After lunch, I leave the cafeteria even more disgruntled than when I came in. For one thing, I didn't tell Thomas was was bothering me all morning. For another, there's Gally to worry about again, and lastly, I'm even more mixed up about my feelings than ever.

Was what I felt earlier simply a passing rush of emotion, something tiny and inconsequential that won't happen again? Every time I see Thomas, I only love him more, for everything that he is; and so, why would I find myself attracted to somebody else?

Hormones, I think, taking my seat in class. That's all it is, and you know it. Now pay attention, get your work done, and maybe later -- if you're lucky -- your mom will let Thomas come over after school. I smile to myself. That sounds good. We've spent nearly every evening visiting each other, at his house or mine; but usually at my house.

Still... I bite my lip, indecisive. What if I do need a break? What if the constant contact has clouded my judgment, made me too reliant upon Thomas for my happiness? I think I need a bit of time alone, to think things through...or just to be alone. Just to be myself. I can't believe I'm saying it, but I suddenly have the desire to give myself a bit of space from him. At least for one night.

Just for tonight?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry


	21. Twenty one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newwwwt....

As soon as I get home, I lock myself in my room, turn on the CD player as loud as it'll go, and hit "play" on whatever CD is in. It happens to be the Arctic Monkeys; I decide to go for something a bit more upbeat, and switch it for Imagine Dragons. Seriously, who doesn't like the Dragons, right?

I relax on my bed, throwing shoes, socks and jacket on the floor haphazardly, sighing as I lay back against the soft pillows. Free time is great...now, if only I could forget the ridiculously enormous heap of homework that is due tomorrow... Oh, well. I'll get to that later. For now: Procrastination!

I'm usually not one to procrastinate, it's just that I'm a bit stressed at the moment and need to get my mind off things. Off the fact that Thomas consumes nearly every waking moment of my life anymore (is that bad??). Off the fact that I'm just realizing I may have the capability of falling in love with other guys while still remaining in love with Thomas. Off the fact that dinner is probably on the table downstairs, whether or not I want to eat... To be honest, I hate eating anymore. Yet, unfortunately, I still have to....

My mom's voice will be calling me any minute (she's home early today), so I decide to go find her before she can start pestering me. With a resigned feeling, I hit stop on the CD player, interrupting the beautifully flowing chords of 'Amsterdam', and go to leave the room.

Is my life complicated? Or does it just seem that way? I honestly can't decide. I seem to have far fewer issues than most kids my age, not to mention the thankful lack of drama in my life (well, aside from my mom being mugged) yet i still feel as though I'm struggling. Struggling to keep up with school, friends, homework, family, sleep, everything....

Still. Things could be worse. I'm trying to remind myself of this every day. Things can always get better, but they can always get worse as well. I should be thankful for what I have -- for who I have -- because I'm blessed to be a part of the lives of such wonderful people as Thomas and Teresa and Mom.

I tap my nails against the table, waiting for Mom to come into the kitchen. When she does, I smile at her, and she returns it genuinely. Y'know, not many people have a good relationship with their parents...I'm so thankful that I do. Well, with my mom, at least.

Even though she put me in public school, which sucks.

But...had I never gone to school, I would never have met Thomas.

That thought slams into me with a harsh intensity. What if I had never met Thomas? He's helped me through so much, already...what has it been, two weeks?...and he's such a part of me now that I cna't imagine having him not around. He's my only family outside of my mom. And I love him. God, I love him. More than I ever thought it was possible to love any single human being.

He's the embodiment of perfection (okay, maybe he's not; but don't argue with me here, because to me, he is). I'm so lucky to have him. So, so lucky....

"Newton?" My mom breaks in; I cringe, realizing I must have let my mind wander.

Well, duh...I was thinking about Thomas again, after all...

"Yeah?" I say. "Sorry. Wasn't paying attention." I clear my throat nervously.

"Is Thomas coming over later?" she asks innocently, dishing out pasta.

I feel my heart leap involuntarily at the mere sound of his name. Feeling a blush rising to my cheeks, I scarf down the food as quickly as possible to hide my nervousness. Well, probably not the greatest tactic... "Um. I don't think so," I mumble through a mouthful of food. "He had homework to do. And so do I," I add, as an afterthought.

"Okay." She frowns slightly, sipping delicately at her glass of water.

Water. Ugh. Why don't I like it? It's supposed to be good for you...but, whatever. Why am I so sidetracked today? Can't I focus on anything?

You can focus on Thomas, a little, annoying (and accurate) voice whispers in the back of my mind.

I attempt to hide a stupidly giddy smile as I continue to eat, and if Mom notices, she doesn't let on. She's good about giving me space. Thank God. I have the best mom ever.

"Um, is it okay if I stay in my room later?" I ask, as Mom begins to clear plates from the table.

"Sure, honey. Just make sure to come out before you go to bed, okay? Hey, are you sure you're alright?" She glances at me with concern, and I go over to hug her.

"I'm great, mom. Are you okay?"

She hugs me tighter. "Yes. That's good, Newton. Newt." She laughs a bit at the pet nickname Thomas made up for me; I roll my eyes as I turn away, and she ruffles my hair playfully.

"Bye, Mom!" I call, to which she responds with an absentminded wave.

The rest of the night is up to whatever I want to do, now. Which is what, exactly? Well...

Dammit, I wish these walls weren't so thin. I have the insanely strong desire to blare 'Radioactive' as loud as it will go while singing every word (not that I can actually sing, anyway...), but I don't want to disrupt Mom's work. Pluuuuus, she'd probably yell at me for abusing the radio...and my eardrums... I just seem to have a strange fascination with that song, though.

Instead of succumbing to the urge, I flop back down on my bed, propping my chin on my hands and wondering what Thomas would say if he were here now. I smile a bit, knowing that he'd probably tell me to go ahead and crank up the radio anyway. But, I decide to be a good kid and resist the temptation.

Temptation....

The word that I fear may lead me astray, and into far more trouble than it might be worth. The act that has the power to bring about my emotional downfall...yet am I willing to risk it all?

That, my friend, is the question. It is also a question best answered in a relatively rested and peaceful state of mind. Meaning...hopefully, tomorrow morning.

Sounds like a plan...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's going to be alright okay! Okay. Okay.


	22. Twenty two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is also one of my fav numbers, so lets hope....

The next morning at school, I'm met my an unpleasant surprise. Wait for it... You guessed it, didn't you?

Gally.

Aaaand....I'm really afraid of that look on his face. It's not angry, not hateful or unpleasant -- on the contrary, he's grinning idiotically, and I have the sudden urge to slap him. Calm down, I tell myself, taking a deep breath. I have no idea why he's smiling at me like that, but I suppose I'll find out soon enough... hitting him won't help anything.

Well, it'd probably make me feel better, but that's beside the point....

"Hey Newty," Gally says in an annoying, high-pitched voice. I cringe, both at the nickname and his tone of voice.

"Hi, Gally," I reply with a sigh. "What's that look for?"

Gally feigns innocence. "Look? What look?" He pauses long enough to irritate me (which, I guess, is his intention), and then continues. "Ohhh, yeah, I almost forgot to tell you... I saw your boyfriend yesterday with that kid...what's his name...Minho? Yeah, Minho. Didn't tell you about that, now did he?" Gally raises those ridiculous eyebrows and then stalks off, smirking.

Clenching my fists and trying to hide my trembling, i make my way up the steps and into the building. Thomas couldn't have...would he? A sudden wave of jealousy overrides all my other emotions, sapping the joy from me. All of the anger I've ever held builds up and is now focused solely on Minho and Thomas.

Is it true? And what exactly did Gally mean? Like, were they kissing or something, or just talking? Seriously, I need to find out...where the hell's Thomas?

But, I mean, even if Thomas did like him...can you blame the guy? It certainly isn't Minho's fault he's so gosh darn attractive, and I can hardly yell at Thomas for noticing it. Heck, isn't that what I did yesterday?

Still, it's waaaaay different. I didn't act on my impulse, if you can even call it that. It was more of a fleeting thought, a feeling blown away like a leaf on the wind... right? I can't like two guys at once, right?

I really need to find Thomas, but I've gotten here late, so I'm forced to hurry to my first class before I can talk to him. I can't focus throughout the entire thing, obviously, as I'm too worked up and twitchy about confronting him at lunchtime. Honestly, I can't believe I pass my grades with how little attention I pay most days.

Finally, finally, it's time to get lunch...and more importantly, find Thomas.

Oh, God...what if he wants to break up with me? What if, what if... I stop in my tracks. What if Gally is a freaking lying, good-for-nothing shank, and made the story up? Why on earth didn't I think of this before? Oh, yeah... because I was too busy feeling petty, angry, jealous, possessive, and betrayed. Right. I'm such an idiot. God, Thomas doesn't deserve a dumb slinthead like me...

Okay, no negative self-talk. I try to calm my heavy breathing once again. I feel a twist of nervousness as I search the crowd for my boyfriend. If he's still my boyfriend...

What am I going to say to him? "Oh, y'know, Gally said you'd been cheating on me, so I instantly believed him" probably isn't gonna go over very well.

That's when I spot him, at our usual table, but... My breath hitches and I feel the sharp stab of betrayal pierce me again, because sitting there in my seat, is Minho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My fav number didn't helped... Did it?


	23. Twenty three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Okay. Y'all gonna be alright

The sick feeling in my stomach increases to the point where I feel like I'm going to have to run to the bathroom and throw up, yet I try to ignore it. I have to talk to Thomas. I have to settle this, before it gets any worse.

As I approach the table where he and Minho sit (where he and I always sit, every day of the week), they both glance up and Minho blushes beet-red. Great, they are guilty of something. I take a deep breath to avoid hyperventilating, and pause beside the table, glaring into Thomas's eyes.

"Explain," I demand curtly.

Thomas frowns, glancing between Minho and I, before his focus settles fully on me. "Newt, what's wrong? Please sit down; I'll tell you everything."

Minho twitches uncomfortably as I take a seat beside him, my back straight and stiff. I tell myself to relax, though it's a feeble attempt. I can't help but be irritated with the cute Asian boy beside me (damn it! Did you really just refer to him as cute again?), not to mention my actual boyfriend. If they've gone behind my back...there will be hell to pay.

Unless there's a good enough explanation. Which there probably isn't, but oh well.

"Hear me out, okay?" says Thomas cautiously. I can tell by his tone of voice that this is going to be good. "Um, Min, do you want to leave?" he asks awkwardly, with a glance in Minho's direction.

"Considering I'm as guilty as you are, he has a right to hear it from both of us. I'm not going to tuck my tail between my legs and flee like a skittish dog," is Minho's determined reply.

I can't help but respect him for that. Clearly, they're guilty of hiding something from me, and I know a lot of guys in his position would have taken the opportunity to leave and avoid some of the blame -- or at least some of the chewing-out. Yet, Minho has chosen to stay. He's accepting responsibility for whatever crime he committed, and I'm grateful for that.

"Okay, then." Thomas takes a deep breath. "Newt. Please don't freak out."

"Just get on with it, Thomas!" I snap suddenly. "Gally said he'd seen you guys together. I want an explanation. Don't sugarcoat it, and don't make excuses. Tell me what happened, and tell me now, or I will leave this cafeteria and not speak to you until Monday." I pause. "I'm not looking for an apology, either, though that'd probably help. I just want to know what's going on."

Minho's eyes have gone wide by this point; clearly, the outburst from the scrawny, nerdy, new kid is not what he expected to hear today. I sigh and roll my eyes at the ridiculous look on his face, earning a slow grin from Minho.

Whoa. The smile manages to somehow light up his entire face, making his eyes look happier and flashing his straight white teeth, which are bright against his dark skin. Without meaning to, I realize I've been staring, and I swiftly jerk my gaze back to Thomas to pierce him with my glare once again.

To my surprise, it's Minho who first speaks up.

"Newt, I did something terrible. I don't want your forgiveness -- hell, I don't really feel like giving an apology, either, for that matter -- but I do want you to know the truth. Yesterday, Thomas and I made out. We met up here today to tell you, because neither of us could live with the guilt of not letting you know." He narrows his eyes, the humor gone fro m his face. "I'll leave if you guys want to work things out. But..." He bites his lip indecisively, making him look infinitely more attractive (something I would not have imagined possible a moment before) and then glances back up at Thomas. Finally, his eyes meet mine. "I'm sorry that I have a hopeless crush on your boyfriend," he says sincerely, though I want to laugh because of his choice of words. "I hope we can resolve this without anyone's heart being broken in the process, though I don't know if that's a possibility. I'm apologize if I ruined your day."

He stands up, slings his bag over his shoulder casually (wow, he's taller than I realized), and then hesitates a final time. "You guys call me later if you work things out, okay?" He shoots Thomas a knowing look, which makes my skin crawl irritably; i realize they've only explained part of it to me. Then, the sassy, tall, and ridiculously handsome guy is gone, and I'm left alone with my boyfriend.

This day just goes from bad to worse, doesn't it?

Yet....I suppose that could have gone a lot worse than it did. At least they were both honest about it, although Thomas does seem incredibly awkward at the moment.

"Thomas?" I ask, surprised by how soft my voice sounds. I'd expected to feel anger, betrayal, annoyance, fear, but instead, I'm just confused. Still, my boyfriend looks to be in discomfort, and I can't ignore that fact. I would still do anything to make him feel better.

"I'm so sorry, Newt," he whispers, and I'm shocked to see a tear running down his cheek.

"Thomas...it's okay," I hear myself saying, as I lean forward to take his hands in mine. "I mean...I'm surprised that you did that, but I guess I can understand it, at least. I forgive you, just please don't cry."

For some reason, this only seems to make the matter worse, and he begins to cry in earnest. I glance around nervously, then get up and move over to his side of the table to wrap my arms around him in a hug. "Shh," i say, wondering why on earth i'm the one doing the comforting right now.

But honestly, it doesn't matter. Thomas has been put through enough relationship failures with Gally; I don't need him to relive the pain of that. I would never do anything so horrible to him. Heck, I apparently can't even get angry at him for kissing other guys. This is so messed up.

"I'm sorry, Newt," he repeats in a broken voice, to which I respond by forcing him to look at me.

"Thomas. I'm not mad. It's okay. Don't beat up on yourself...good that? We can talk more about this later. I get the feeling there was more to the story..."

He nods, attempting to compose himself. "Yes. There was. Okay...we'll talk later, then."

I get up to leave, pulling him with me, my arm wrapped around his waist to keep him close. If nothing else, I can always offer him my comfort. My warmth. My love. Oh, how I wish we were curled up on a couch somewhere, far away from this place, from other people....somewhere we could just snuggle and be ourselves.

Are relationships always this confusing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Xxx


	24. Twenty four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I... I.... It hurts

Thomas's POV:

What have I done? Oh, God, why did I do that? What the hell was I thinking? How could I...after everything Newt's done...what kind of scummy slime-bag am I...

I'm still trying to quit crying as I get to my next class, but luckily everyone who notices pretends they didn't. They're nice to me; don't ask why, I guess I'm just popular, and whoever's popular gets picked on less. Which makes me extremely angry, thinking of all the poor kids Gally's tormented; what on earth did I ever see in that jerk?

Bringing me back to the question: What do I see in Minho? And why couldn't I just resist the urge yesterday, just walk past him, never talk to him again... Oh, why did I have to kiss him? It'd been so tempting...there he was, alone at his locker, late leaving school (as usual), leaning there casually and looking extremely attractive. And he'd asked how I was, so I told him...and he'd leaned in unexpectedly (he's even taller than me), and given me the softest kiss I've ever experienced. Which is not to say better, it was just...different.

And now I've ruined it with me and Newt. I hadn't even stopped to think at the time -- I hadn't been thinking at all; my body had reacted without my mind's permission. Yet, Newt seems to have forgiven me (at least somewhat), which puzzles me the most of all.

I know he's angry and hurt inside, and that's why I broke down earlier. I can't stand the thought that i've hurt my most beloved, and I wouldn't blame him for breaking up with me now, even though it would tear me to pieces. Well, what do you think he feels like, now that you've kissed Minho? I think angrily to myself. But that doesn't mean I want to break up with Newt; on the contrary, I'm more in love with him than ever, especially seeing as he didn't reject me for me act of betrayal.

It was just a kiss, right? Just a kiss; I didn't do anything too horrible, right? Then i remember what Minho and I were discussing earlier, and I bite my lip, lost in thought, wondering if it would really work. Would Newt be up for it, anyway? It would be...difficult, at best. Disastrous, at worst.

I shake my head and realize I've been chewing on the end of my pencil; I quickly stop myself. We'll just have to wait till after school.

I sigh and rest my chin on my desk, prepared to wait this out.

~~~~~

Newt's POV:

Finally, the last bell rings and I'm scrambling to make my way outside amidst the sea of swarming teens. I still dislike most of them; I don't know if I'm just an introvert, or if they really are stupider than me...maybe both...but in any case, there seem to be very few teenagers I can stand being around.

Thomas meets me by the tree where we first kissed, and I take a deep breath to calm myself. I can tell he's been crying more, so I don't want to upset him further, but I still want the answers he promised. Apparently there's something I haven't been told, and Thomas has sworn to tell me as soon as we get back to my house.

"Is your mom off tonight?" Thomas asks as we fall into step beside each other; my hand twitches, but I don't reach out to hold his. It's as though an icy layer has crawled over my heart to guard me from the danger that is Thomas; that is feeling, and getting too close. Yet, I don't want that ice there. I don't want to be cold with him, to ignore him, to have him taken away from me. Least of all, do I desire to push him away. But I can't seem to stop from doing it, nonetheless.

"Yep," I reply shortly, my bag bouncing against my back with every step. Suddenly, it's all too much; the world comes crashing down on me, and I feel the strong desire to cry. I'm not the kind to break down, yet if there's ever a time, it's now. "I can't do this," I gasp, stopping, my breaths hitched and shallow. It's as though a giant void has opened up inside of me, pulling me inwards and away from the world, shutting me off, yet failing to shut down my emotions. A wave of pain crashes over me, and I kneel down on the cool sidewalk, head in hands, silent tears running down my face.

Dammit, why couldn't I have waited till we at least got back home?

"Newt, I'm so sorry," Thomas whispers brokenly. "I didn't mean...I didn't want to do this to you. I promise I never meant to hurt you."

I nod, refusing to respond. Then, I straighten back up and wipe my face dry. "I know. I know, and it's not your fault. I'm not going to hate you for it. I think....I think I just need to cry myself out, and then I'll feel better."

He nods, seeming to understand, and wraps one arm tightly around my shoulders as we start walking again. My head's full of unwanted fears and hopes, mingling together until they're indistinguishable from each other. I still can't tell if I'm upset with Thomas, afraid of losing him, angry at myself, jealous of Minho, needing some alone-time, or wanting to be held and kissed again. Y'know, I think that's it. We've gone days without much physical or emotional contact...I think I'm just missing Thomas. Missing him, and dreading the fact that he might leave, yet afraid to bring that up.

I'm so thankful for what time I had with him. He helped pull me through so much...and he's my first boyfriend. He's been the most wonderful guy...it makes no sense that he's cheated on me. Or, has he? Is it really cheating, if he admitted his fault and asked for forgiveness?

Can we work this out? Oh, God, I hope so. I just want to feel Thomas holding me again. I just want to go back to what we once were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, but its gonna be alright


	25. Twenty five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After rain comes sunshine

Though the sky was clear earlier, it's beginning to drizzle as Thomas and I make our way home. To my home, that is. I can't help but glance over at him every few seconds, remembering the firs time we met...the first time he came over...the day he met my mom...everything he helped me get through... God, it's only been a few weeks? How is that even possible?

Also, how is it possible that it could be thrown away now? I rub the back of my neck in frustration; it always gets stiff and achy when I'm stressed. And I am very stressed at the moment. I try to take a deep breath and calm my pounding heart.

"Thomas?" I ask, breaking the nearly-awkward silence.

He turns to face me, his gaze worried. "Yeah, Newt?" he whispers.

"How...this isn't over, is it?" I feel another tear roll down my cheek. Great, just finished crying, now here we go again... "I mean... I just don't want to lose you. How can we get back to what we used to be? I'm so...confused, over everything. Do you even want me anymore?" I glance away pathetically, hearing my voice break over that last sentence, and more salty tears stain my mournful face.

"Newt, oh Newt," he says, his voice catching, as he gathers me into his arms. Perfect -- out in public, both of us having an emotional breakdown...this is NOT how I planned my day going...

I try to suppress a sob, and fail, but it's muffled by the sound of his shirt. Thomas...oh, God, he smells so good. Why can't he be mine again? Or is he mine, yet confused and lost? Will things ever be the same as before?

"I don't think that we can have back what we did before," Thomas says quietly, stroking my back to soothe me. "But..I think that's how it's supposed to be. That's why those moments were so special, so precious; because they were finite and fleeting, and we'll never feel that way again. But now we get to feel something deeper, stronger, more lasting, and..." He pauses to stifle a sob of his own. "Newt, I didn't mean to hurt you, and I know I deserve your anger. I wouldn't blame you for leaving me."

I back up just enough to look him in the eyes; pushing my long bangs out of my face, I speak for the first time in several minutes. "I. Am. Not. Leaving. You. Ever. I couldn't if I tried; don't you understand? You don't know what you mean to me, do you?"

Thomas takes a shuddering breath and wraps his arms around me again, holding me closer. I wish we were inside right now...especially since the rain hasn't let up yet. Gosh, I just wish it could be like this all the time. Not the teary, sad part, but the deep feelings, the rush of emotion and the silent knowledge in our hearts that we'll never leave each other. For whatever Thomas has done, I don't believe he'd considered the consequences, and besides...why waste my anger over it, when we could resolve the problem peacefully?

Which is what we should be doing right now...not standing there in the freezing rain....

"Thomas, let's get inside," I suggest after a moment. The temperature is dropping, and I really just want to get warm and dry.

Plus, we really need to talk (and cry) this one out, and I'd rather do that in private, anyway. I can only hope my mom will leave us alone...although, she usually does, so I don't know what I'm worried about.

My heart (and my head) is too confused right now. I don't know what's going on anymore; I don't even know what I want to happen. How can we make it better? I keep asking over and over, but I can't fathom a solution.

Thomas kisses the top of my head, making me smile gently. In the midst of our darkest moments, we can still find the light. We can still find ourselves again. There is a way to make this better, I know there is. And as long as there's a way, I'll find it, and I'll make it work. I'm not giving up on us, on this, on what we have been and what we could be, on our hopes for the future and all of our plans gone awry. With enough love, I'm starting to believe, anything is possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always remember, after rain comes sunshine


	26. Twenty six

We tell my mom that we'll be in my room, to which (thank God) she does not protest, and so we make our way inside and close the door. The atmosphere is tense between us; I can't guess what information Thomas is going to reveal to me, and I'm terrified of losing him, despite his reassurances. I try to calm myself and think rationally -- Thomas would never break a promise to me; if he says he'll stay, he's staying -- yet my crying episode has put my emotions in turmoil and my thoughts in disarray.

"Can I sit down?" Thomas asks tentatively, gesturing towards the bed, to which I snort and roll my eyes.

"Like I'm going to say no?" I respond, somewhat sarcastically, yet my voice breaks on the last word, making it sound so much less threatening. Not that I wanted to sound threatening, anyway...despite what's happened, I have no desire to hurt him. It's just the stupid, annoying voice in the back in my head that says I should take revenge on him...

Revenge for what? I think tiredly. He didn't do anything. Maybe if I repeat it enough times, I'll believe it... Then I stop. What the hell am I doing? I'm brainwashing myself, the same thing Thomas did when he was with Gally, making himself think for all those months (perhaps even years) that Gally actually loved him, that whenever he strayed it was just temporary.

"I can't do this," I gasp, standing up swiftly, shocked at my own revelation. "You're -- you're going to leave me, aren't you?" I glare at Thomas. "Or else, you'll stay with me, but never truly love me, the same thing Gally did to you."

Thomas holds his hands up in surrender, his eyes brimming with tears. "Newt. Sit down, please."

I highly doubt that Gally ever cried after he'd betrayed Thomas, which gives me at least a slight sliver of hope. With my wariness still clawing at the back of my mind, yet willing at least to hear him out, I perch uncertainly on the edge of the bed.

"Minho and I made a mistake," Thomas begins, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Well, at least my sarcasm is back; that means I must be feeling a bit better, right? Not quite as frail and broken as before, not lost and hopeless, just...tired. Tired of this mess, wanting it all to be over. Had it really only started earlier today?

"I never meant to hurt you," Thomas says for the umpteenth time, and for some reason, I believe him. His soft, tear-filled eyes, his broken voice, the way his shoulders slump in defeat and fear of rejection; he isn't lying. Thomas doesn't lie. I know that, so why do I hold back from comforting him?

"Yet, I know that I did hurt you, Newt, and I'm sorry. Minho is willing to forget the whole thing ever happened, if that's what you want."

I narrow my eyes, meeting his gaze. I'm uncertain exactly what he means. "If that's what I want?" I say slowly. "What does that mean? What are the other options?" My voice is curious, guarded, but not angry or accusing, for which, I'm sure, we're both glad.

"Well...there's something else he brought up." Thomas bites his lip nervously, unsure how to go on, and I find it insanely attractive, even in the midst of our predicament. "He suggested...and this is only if you fully agree...if not, we can forget I said anything...but, he suggested an open relationship."

The term rings a bell in the back of my mind; I know I've read about it somewhere before, and I can remember what it means, but I'd never actually considered it a possibility for me before. Of course, I'd never imagined being in a serious relationship until a few weeks ago...until I met Thomas.

"What...what exactly would that mean for us?" I manage to croak out, scared of his response.

"Obviously, it wouldn't be the same as before," Thomas stutters, now speaking quite quickly, and I can tell that something's clicked inside of him. He's seen some glimmer of hope, clutching on to it as he stumbles his way through the rest of his speech. Then I realize: He's excited. Excited, over this possibility, this unseen option which never in a million years would have crossed my mind.

"It'd be just you, me...and Minho," he gulps, his voice hushed but the tears gone from his eyes. I try to grasp what he's saying; the full consequences of it slam into me, shattering the armor of indifference I'd been trying to build around myself. Me, him, and Minho... as a what? Not a couple, for that means two... We would be a trio. As though being gay and new in school wasn't enough reason to be picked on and disdained for, now this.... An open relationship?

Minho? Do I want Minho involved in this? Yet, I begin to realize, he's already far more involved than I would have guessed. He clearly has feelings for Thomas, as does Thomas for him, and...well, I might admit to have a small crush on the cute Asian kid. But it was a crush. A passing crush, and I thought it would go away. This conversation has opened up a whole new realm of possibility, and my thoughts are sent scattering in a million confused directions again.

"Is that what you want?" I whisper, breaking the odd silence between us.

Thomas meets my eyes. "Maybe. I...I want you to think about it. I'm sorry about all of this, Newt. But...I think it's for the best. It's going to be...hard, at first, figuring it all out..."

I let out a snort of harsh laughter. "That's an understatement."

He nods, falling silent, allowing me space to think. Finally, I let out a sigh and crawl over to lay my head in his lap.

I feel his fingers run through my hair, and when I peek open my eyes, I can tell he's smiling. I feel a sudden sense of relief and peace, at least for the time being. "Can I have a few days to think about all of this?" I mumble, my voice heavy with exhaustion.

Thomas leans down and kisses me on the cheek, making me blush. "Of course," he whispers against my skin.

 

Then, before I realize it, I've fallen asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey little angels!
> 
> So what you sweeties have been reading now is the work of my guardian Angel, weepinglily. She had stopped writing here and I want to continue the story.
> 
> So I am going on now and it's gonna be Thominewt. 
> 
> :)
> 
> Do you have a small request or maybe a question? TALK TO ME! I'm here babies.
> 
> Thank y'all and especially Weepinglily. I love your work its so lovely. Thank you.
> 
> XOXOXOXO


	27. Twenty seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Third person POV. I'm Sorry for any mistakes

Newton may look like a simple boy.

He was not noticeable in a crowd of people. 

Not that he wanted more attention than that. He was completely fine with the person he was.

Yes. was. His live used to be a lot more easier than now.

Thomas was his life. Thomas was so important for Newton that he felt empty without him.

When he woke up a few hours after their conversation, Thomas had left the house. Newt felt alone and cold. 

He wanted to be hold in Thomas' arms and snuggle into his warmth.

He looked at his clock and saw that it was over midnight.

Tomorrow he had school, so he put his PJ's on and crawled into bed. Hoping for some warmth and comfort that never came.

•••in the morning•••

"Newton. Newton wake up." Newt's mom woke him up with her soft voice and warm voice. 

"Ten minutes please." Newt groaned to his mom and hid under the pillow.

His mom looked concerned. "Are you okay Baby?" She asks and sits on the edge of the teens bed. 

"I dunno..." Newt says muffled by the pillow and his mom softly smiles at him while she pats his back.

"You are really warm..." She says thoughtfully and stops petting his back.

"Let me feel your forehead sweetheart." She demands softly and Newt can't disobey her.

He moves the pillow away so he can look her in the eyes and noticed that she looked really concerned. 

She moved her hand to his forehead and Newt felt how cold her skin felt against his.

But he didn't feel warm. He felt absolutely cold. 

Chills went through his body and his mother took her hand away. "You are like fire Hun. I'm going to call school." She says before walking out the room quickly.

Newt didn't even realized how miserable he felt. How his forehead was under the sweat and his mouth was dry. 

He tries to lift himself off the bed, but he fell face first on the mattress. 

He felt so weak and he groaned in the fabric of his bed. 

Why today? Why? Thomas would probably think he is a chicken. 

"MOM!" He tried to yell, but it was more a pitifully croaky sound. 

He heard footsteps on outside the door and his mother opened the door. "Was that you Newton?" She asks and Newt whispers a "yes." 

"What's wrong Babyboy? Do you need something?" She asks and Newt tries to talk again, but his voice feels taken aback in his throat. 

"What did you say?" She asks and comes closer.

"Can you... Get my phone out of the charger..." His mom nods and gets it from the other side of the room.

"Here you go. And I'm staying home from work today so I can-" 

"No mom. Please go to work. I'll be alright here. If I am in danger I'll call you." He says and tries to sit up in bed. 

It doesn't work so he just rolls over on his back.

"Newton. You are not well... I don't think it is really responsible for me to-" she tries again, but Newt doesn't want his mom to stay. They need the money and he is old enough to be home alone.

"Mommy, I'm gonna be alright. Just give me something to eat and to drink okay. I will call you back if I'm not doing fine." He says and she hesitates. 

"But...." Newt knew what this was about. This was about her worrying that she was a bad mother. That she did something wrong again.

But Newt knew he couldn't wish for a better mother. 

"Mom... Give me what I need to survive for a while and go to work. Don't worry so much." She smiles at her son and helps him sitting upright. 

"Alright then." She smiles and kisses his hot nose. 

•••time skip•••

"Newton. I call you every two hours, here you got a bucket you want to throw up again, you have some chicken noodle soup and water. And here is your phone charger together with a book, change your shirt every two hours cause you are sweaty, here is a cold clothe. Use it. And a apple." She says before she pulls the blanket fully over him again. 

"Anything. I mean anything that happens, you have to call me. I am at work until eleven, so I supposed you are asleep when I am back." She says and kisses his hot forehead again. 

"You can let Thomas come over to help you." She says and kissed him again on the cheek.

"Mom. I'm alright." He says with a tight throat again and he feels his eye lids growing heavy. He was happy he texted Thomas a few minutes ago.

"Good luck..." She says before closing the door. Leaving Newt alone with his own thoughts before he fell asleep. Totally exhausted. 

•••a few moments later•••

Newt woke up when he heard his phone ringing. 

He was totally not feeling any better and his body craved for some more sleep.

He picked it up without even looking who it was and croaked out a. "Hello?" 

"Newt?" Thomas' concerned and hurried voice was sounding loudly in Newt's ear and he flinched at the sound.

"Tommy." He says as normal as possible, but it was probably a lost case. 

"Oh my... You sound horrible." Thomas says, making Newt smile a little. Even though it wasn't totally alright between them. 

"I'm not feeling 100 percent I suppose..." Newt says in a horrible whisper and he wishes Thomas and maybe even Minho to be here to hug him.

"We miss you a lot..." Thomas says and Newt smiles softly.

"Miss you too..." And he sighs before saying; "and Minho. Tell Minho I miss him." 

Even though he felt so bad and the fight between them felt weird and unnatural... He missed both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. I'm sorry that I am not like @weepinglily ,but I hope y'all stick to the story


	28. Twenty eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god. Heeeeeey. Update from  
> Me! Love y'all!!!!

When Newt opens his eyes he hears the sound of people whispering.

He rolls over in his bed and laid on his stomach.

He didn't want to be awake. Everything hurts. Inside of his body, but also outside. His legs and arms felt as bad as his stomach.

He groans softly when a hand touches his back. A warm kind hand...

"Newty. You awake?" That was Thomas' voice obviously. And then a other voice was heard and a hand was placed through his hair.

"You are sleeping all day. Our sleeping beauty." That was Minho. 

And Newt decided that he liked his presence as well. 

"Our poor baby..." Thomas says and Newt feels the bed shifting under the two boys weight on either side of him. 

How did they even come inside his room? 

Was he dreaming?

"Hey. Isn't he still asleep?" Minho asks and plays with strands of his hair. 

"No. Am not." Newt more groaned out then talking. 

Thomas' hand was moving up and down his back and Minho's hand was scratching his skull.

Newt was happy with the warmth from the two others. And he felt like purring at the touches. 

"Good that you are here." Thomas says and Newt feels like falling asleep at the kindness of the two. He feels so save that his body feels a little better than before.

"You look so sick. Poor Newt." Minho says and suddenly Newt knew that this open relationship between the three of them would be good. Awesome even.

It wasn't a open relationship... More a trio. 

"I love you two." He muttered in his pillow and all of sudden there was a tension in the room.

"That must be the fever speaking." Thomas explained softly, stroking a little slower.

"Must be." Minho says and Newt feels kinda offended. 

But he must not have given a answer since Thomas suggested the trio.

"No. Is not." Newt says and wants to look at them in the face. "Want to be trio." He says and is suddenly turned around on his back. Facing his two beautiful boys.

"Are you shuking with us?" Thomas asks serious and Newt felt like there was a heavy stone on his stomach and people were about to get it off.

He looked at Minho from under his heavy eyelashes. 

"No I'm not. I am into the idea." Newt says with a smile and his boyfriends look like they want to yell happily and run around.

But they didn't. They only had a big smug grin on their faces. 

Newt felt shy under their stares. But when Minho's hand went through his hair again, he felt totally save again.

"I love your hair so much, dude- or babe." Minho smiled and Newt felt like he was on fire. 

Thomas' hand went to his forehead. "You are so hot Newtie. Maybe we shouldn't warm you up so much with our heat." Thomas says while backing up a little, Minho almost did the same-

"Wait! Stop... No.... Am so cold. Please stay here." Newt says and grabs unto Minho's hand. "please Tommy, please." 

Thomas was nobody against Newt's cute begging, so he dropped himself in the bed next to Newt.

"You are such a Slinthead." Thomas says and Newt rolls his eyes while tucking slightly on Minho's arm to make him lay next to him. 

"But we don't mind." Minho says while stroking Newt's knuckles.

Newt felt bad of course, but this was amazing. He laid his head on Thomas' shoulder and Minho's hand in his. While Minho's other arm was around him and touching Thomas.

Newt was about to fall asleep again, but then-

"How did you two get in my house?" He rasped out and felt the two other bodies shake in laughter, but Newt's mind was too tired to care.

"Your mom texted me to check up on you, cause you didn't text her all day. She said a spare key was hidden in the birdhouse in your garden. So I texted her you were sleeping all day. She said 'good that.'" Thomas said and a reassuring squeeze in his hand from Minho.

"Okay." He said dreamily and he slowly let his heavy eyelids fall closed. Warm and squeezed between his boyfriends. The pain was there, but less than before.

"Sleep well." Minho said before kissing the back of his hair.

"Sweet dreams." Thomas said and Newt felt amazing.

Sweet dreams, he will have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all okay?


	29. Twenty nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt's still sick? What are the other two up to?

It was three days later when Newt finally felt a little strong enough to sit upright for half a hour. 

It was spent with his two boyfriends who were helping him with his homework. Which wasn't very logical, because Newt understood it better than the both of them. (It was a mixed up pool of letter and numbers)

"So if you want to know what x is, you should do plus two and then you should -6." Minho tried to explain Newt while the blond couldn't understand the half of it because of the head aches.

"Okay, but I think Min that you should do plus four and -9 so we can come to zero..." Newt said, trying to make sense of the words swimming in his mind. 

Thomas sat on the other side of Newt. All of them on the Brit's bed, with Newt in the middle for support to sit upright.

"I honestly have no clue..." Thomas says and writes down what Newt had said. 

Thomas had a gentle hold on Newt's soft hand while he wrote the answer down. 

Homework was of course necessary to make, because Newt didn't want to fail any tests or be left behind in the class.

"Let's do something that doesn't have anything to do with school, won't you like that Newt?" Minho asked the feverish hot blonde who was leaning heavily against his shoulder, while playing with the soft strands of hair. 

"Yeah. Sounds cool. My head is a mess." Newt mumbled softly while rubbing his feet (they felt very cold in his opinion, but Thomas said they were burning) against Thomas' legs.

Minho started to give Newt's temples a massage with his index fingers. It felt very good and relaxing.

God Newt loves his boyfriends. 

Thomas closes the stupid school books and lays them on the ground where they couldn't bother anymore. 

Instead of other textbooks he grabbed a good book he was reading. It was mysterious, romantic, humorous and amazing. 

He took the blanket over him and his boyfriends, tugging Newt in a little bit more than himself, so he could have a hold on the book.

Minho pulled the blanket up to under Newt's shin and held the blond closer, because he kept shivering in cold. (Even though he was very warm) Newt didn't protest on the kindness and care, he was very tired after doing homework. And he loved the heat of Minho next to him. 

When Thomas laid back into the bed he opened the book on the first page. 

"Made for my loving family, I love you. Thank you." Thomas reads out loud while Newt was seeking warmth from his body, and Minho smiled lovingly at Thomas.

"It was a cold morning when I opened my eyes. I felt the empty side of the bed next to me, happy there wasn't anyone with me there. I don't have a clear look of the night before, so everything was possible." Thomas started and Newt knew the story. He had already read it a few months ago, and it was so good that he didn't mind hearing it again.

"I try to close my eyes again, but sleep doesn't come in half a hour. So I give up and go for a shower. As soon as I stand up I feel a sharp pain in my right leg. I cry it out in pain, before sitting on the edge of the bed. I roll my pajama pants up an look for any form of injury." Thomas reads and Newt feels his head-aches lessening when Minho starts scratching his skull. 

"I see nothing is off. Except one thing... My body has turned into a tint of soft blue. I want to scream and call the police, but I don't know what will happen if the CIA gets me in their hands. Do I have some kind of disease? Is it paint? Am I rotting? I quickly limp to the bathroom and watch in horror how everything had turned blue. My skin, lips, hair, fingers... I'm blue. How do I became blue?" Thomas' has a good soft voice for reading. Newt felt hypnotized by his surroundings. 

Everything was hazy and he felt warm and tired. 

He was sandwiched between his two beloved's and his head had too much today. 

Gosh how did he became so tired so quickly?

Thomas quickly glanced sideways to look at how Newt was struggling to keep his eyes open. 

He almost cooed at the sight, but kept quiet so the Brit could sleep and get better soon. 

Thomas quickly looked at Minho, who was holding the blond and softly hummed to Newt. 

Minho kisses his temple once before Newt's eyes fluttered closed in exhausting. 

Thomas smiled at the sight of his two boyfriends holding onto each other. He quickly placed a kiss on Newt's cheek. And a longer lasting kiss on Minho's lips.

"I think we'll read on another time." Thomas whispers and Minho nods while laying Newt down on the bed. Tugging him warmly in and making sure he was very warm. 

"I think that's a great idea. We should get going before his mother gets home." Minho says while sliding off the bed, making sure not to disturb the sleeping Newt. 

Thomas packed both their stuff into their school bags. 

Minho grabbed his bag when Thomas was ready and the couple quickly made their way out the house. (They'll text Newt that he fell asleep and that they had to go) 

The couple stepped onto Minho's motorcycle after Thomas locked the house and turned on the alarm. 

Minho stepped on Onion-son (yes he named his Motorcycle Onion-son, Thomas was scared to mention it) Thomas stepped up and held Minho's waist tightly. 

They've done this a million times, but it was still very exciting for Thomas. He was scared to fall off (Minho was a fast driver) 

"Put on a helmet." Minho ordered and gave one to Thomas with a smile on his face. 

•••

"I'm serious Thomas. Newt would never be into that." Minho says while catching the ball Thomas threw at him. 

They were in the family Lee's garden. It was very big and full of stuff to play with. So the two were throwing a ball at one another while speaking about business.

"He wanted to do it with me the first day we met. But I pulled back because I was scared that we'd hurt each other. He didn't seemed like he wanted to stop anytime soon." Thomas catches the quick ball and throws it right back to the asian. 

Minho thinks for a second. "But I first stole you. You were his 'first-day-of-school-oh-lord-help-me-savior' I am the 'I-kissed-your-boyfriend-and-now-we-want-to-have-a-threesome-with-you-dude.' It's hard for him. I have to gain his trust before wanting more. I don't want to be needy. I want him to actually love me." Minho says before throwing the ball back at Thomas. 

"I want him to feel loved by us. Because that's what he deserves. Do you not see how he looks in the mirror sometimes? How he waits for us to touch him? He is scared. He doesn't know what he's actually doing." Minho says before Thomas throws the ball at him again.

Thomas sighs before putting his hands on his hips. "I lost a lot of his trust too when I cheated on him. I cried in his arms... He comforted me... While I was the bad-guy." Thomas catches Minho's ball quickly before holding it in his hands. 

"We need to do something extremely amazing to make him really feel save and loved. It will be the only way this relationship could get a little bit healthy." Thomas says before laying the ball in the grass. "Let's go back inside. It's getting cold out here." 

Minho nods before walking after him.

•••

"Hello?" Thomas answered the phone with a smile on his face when he hears Minho's voice.

"Hey Tombsy. I had a idea to make Newt trust us more. We'll go on a little weekend off together. When he's fully recovered from his sickness." Minho said more as a request than anything else.

Thomas thought for a second before just giving in. What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's going to happen? Let's find out laterz xxx smut may be on its way.

**Author's Note:**

> until chapter 27 all credits to @weepinglily. After that it is all me. I hope you stay with the story. 
> 
> XXX


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